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10 April 2005

Czlowiek Odpowiedzi Przybywa - Rozdzielaja Trzynascie


T

he Answerman Comeths - Part Thirteen. I thought that since our friends in Poland have lost a son that this week I would salute them. I think I got it right. The Answerman took last Sunday off to travel to Mollytown so he could see the buddies up there. Monique of Moniques Home House Calls, Stucco Siding and Mall was feeling a little under the weather and I was hoping my visit would cheer her up a bit. I think it did, you can never really tell with Monique...

Her sister, LulaBell was also greatful as she was running around waiting on Monique hand and foot. She made the mistake of telling Monique that she should go see Doc Richard "Big Dick" Rambolewski for her ingrown toenail. Monique didn't care for Lula mentioning that. Anyway... here we go... I need to get this over with quick today since I am judging a contest this afternoon and you don't need to know what the contest is either.

First question...

Dear Answerman: Why does it appear that more females blog than males? Signed dbdoberman


Dear db: My friend, you're gonna get me in a lot of trouble here by asking that question. You know I don't lie or make crap up. I always tell the truth. I'm afraid my answer will alienate the majority of my readers. But anyway... the reason is simple... Their boyfriends won't listen to them, certainly not their husbands, and even their ummm girlfriends, in some cases, have given up listening to all the complaining, bitching, moaning, groaning. Do men really care that it's "that time of month?" Hell no, men only have one thing on their minds and they know they're not going anywhere near the goal line for about a week. You may or may not notice that females really get wordy around that time of month... you can't shut them up... or since they type, you can't slow those fingers down. They would rather put those fingers to good use by... ummm nevermind. I hope this answers your question... and don't ever ask another question like that.

Second Question...Moving Right Along...

Dear Answerman: Why do men wear revealing beachwear? Why wear them at all?
Signed patticake

Dear patticake: Now just why do you think they wear revealing beachwear? It's obvious... they have a nice tan and want to show it off. However, they have to wear something to cover ummm things. Have you ever seen a man with sunburnt privates? Not a pretty site at all... talk about a burnt hotdog... I know, I've sunburnt myself many times. Then Monique and LulaBell from Mollytown had to put sunburn lotion all over me. EVERYWHERE! Man, what a party that was!

[DISCLAIMER]: Any answer that the Answerman gives is always his own doings. I, Denny Shane, in no way support his ways of thinking and absolve myself from any litgation that may arise out of his use of any kind of slanderous phrase(s) or words. Upon advice of counsel I hereby state: I don't even like him.

Things To Get Off My Chest

Yesterday, I sat and watched ol' cousin Charlie marry his "true love" Camilla. A little miffed that dear cousin Charlie didn't care enough to invite me to the wedding, beings that we are 20th cousins. At one point while the Russian singer was singing, the camera panned over to Charles and Camilla. She was looking straight ahead, perhaps looking into her future, thinking there before her were 1,000 reasons why inbreeding doesn't work. And there was Charlie... looking down at the floor, in deep thought... he was actually wringing his hands. I wondered what he could possibly be thinking about. [I don't know why but the thought occured to me that perhaps he was thinking: of a line from Shakespeare and his Macbeth, Lady Macbeth in a state of almost manic sleepwalking utters the famous line, "Out Damn Spot!" as she is plagued by guilt for her part in the killing of Duncan.] I wondered if he was thinking of Diana. The camera panned over to William and Harry... what must be going through their minds?... what a position for these two guys. Were they wishing their father good luck, or thinking of their mother. Then there was the Queen... poor, poor, Liz... what a family she has brought forth. What was she thinking? Camilla is ok I guess... no Diana, and I really advise against her [Camilla] taking any side trips by herself to dunno... Paris maybe?

Whew! Having said all that, I do wish them a long life and happiness... Ok, one more jab. Prince Charles will not be attending the funeral for Prince Ranier of Monaco because he will be on his honeymoon. Come on Charles... you're going to be King of England. Paying your respects is part of your royal duty ole chap. Your second honeymoon can be interrupted. It's not like you're going to be doing anything you haven't already done... for years.

Today's Birthday

Today's birthday boy is William Booth founder of the Salvation Army. Born in 1829

Blatant Statements and Other Improbable Dreams

I am totally and completely in love with Sarah Brightman. I hope she reads my blog... and Yes Sarah, I will marry you! Or live with you if you prefer or stop by a few times a month!!

Also, I honestly try to get around to everyone's Blog, but I just can't seem to do it. Maybe I should do it in sections... Monday A-D, etc. I really do appreciate everyone that comes here and post replies. I promise to really try and get around more often.


Ok, I was on someones Blog and I took this short quiz to find out what kind of Lover I am... Interesting and actually, I was pretty surprised... fairly accurate. Laugh... now I feel like I am all dressed up and no where to go! lol





Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover





You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.



What Is Your Seduction Style?
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