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21 June 2005

My Adventures at the Zoo, Part Deux...


nyway, here we are practically swimming in our own sweat around the zoo... AND it was only 10AM!!!! I don't even want to imagine the zoo by 3 PM. I am sure the aromatic fragrances wafting through the zoological gardens was raw to say the least, if you know what I mean.

To get the video to work, click on the little arrow button and you'll see a pop up window, in the new window, click again on the little arrow. Now I know you'll swear it was rehearsed over and over and my lines were scripted... but honest as hard to believe as it may seem, it was all adlib... uh huh...

So off to feed the ducks and fish in the pond. If you're not smart enough to bring food, you buy it from the little machines for .25 a handful. Into my pockets and find 2 quarters and give each girl one. The happily run off to throw food at the ducks and fish. Me, I sat down and had a well deserved cigarette. (yes, yes, I know it's bad for me, so save your breath). It was then that I needed to visit the men's room... obviously from drinking all that coke. "Girls? Come here for a minute" They both turn and start to walk towards me when Nina throws ALL her duck/fish food into the pond and nearly caused a mob riot in the water. "No, no Nina, you shouldn't have thrown it all into the water, I only wanted to ask if both of you would sit at the table here while I went to the bathroom."

Back with the girls we decide to see the lions and tigers. We walked around and around and around... we found the lion ground just fine... there weren't any lions or tigers. However, we did see the butt of a lion as it stuck out from his cave as he slept. Well, that was thrilling. Next we tracked down the elephants... of course they weren't anywhere near where we were... so off to the other side of the zoo. As we get closer, we have hear them blowing their trunks... we were so excited... we get there and the two elephants that we did see had their butts turned toward us... and they are BIG butts! so we really didn't get to see their faces. Plus one was ummm "doing his/her" business" Not a pretty site in 100 degree weather... and it didn't smell flowery either. Now I wished I had brought a cake of Limburger cheese to mask the smell.

Off to see the Koala bears... the sign said Koala BearS... being plural. We saw one and only one, sleeping up in a tree and guess which way he was facing? Did you guess away from us and we only saw Koala ass? This was getting stupid. We see the Giraffe section. All 3 of them were at the fence and facing the RIGHT way!! We hurried: Olivia: run, run, run. Nina: run, run, run. Me: run, limp, run, limp, limp... limp, limp, sweat and limp.

Yes! Animal face!! Oh we love you Giraffes!! The adorable baby Giraffe was so happy to see us, and as a welcome present he pooped on the ground, right in front of us! Now how cool was that? Within seconds, a smell I will never get out of my nose permeated the air around us. Honest to God, I was gonna throw up, right there on the Giraffes little head. Ok, enough is enough... I think we all had it with the smells of nature and the desert sun beating down on us.

Once back at the portable oven... sorry, car... we were gasping for air... I thought to myself, isn't this where the breathing masks are supposed to drop out of the overhead? Finally the car cools down enough and we head back. The girls: "When can we come again? We had fun!" Me: "I think visits to the zoo should be on special days girls... I know!! ...we can come on Christmas in December when it's not so hot... and see Santa's reindeers!" Girls: "Santa has his reindeers here on Christmas? If they're here how does he get around to deliver toys?" Me: "Hey! who wants to hear Deni Bonet sing again?!! Altogether now!"

Observations and Questions
I think they should open the zoo at night when the moon is out and not the sun. Talk about whatever is on your mind... and leave lots of questions for me to answer! lol

Today's Birthday and/or Death

In 1876 Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana, Mexican general and co-inventor of Chicolets (I swear to God it's true), dies at 82. Hope it's nice and toasty where you are. In his honor I am playing Deguello.

Gentle Reminder of the Day

Come on gang... get your picture to me if you want it displayed for the world to see.

We still have time gang, email me and I'll give you my home address... zip off a postcard and give me your address and I'll zip one off to you. It's been really interesting so far!
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