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21 August 2005

L'Uomo di Risposta Viene - Separa Quattro


P

lease pardon my Italian. What is this you ask? This article is from the past on the Not So Normal News and was a weekly feature, until I felt it needed a rest. So now I've decided to bring it back and see what happens. The following was published back on 30 January. It will give you some idea what the Answerman does (and doesn't do). You can ask anything you want, no subject is taboo. You can send your questions to me and I will be sure to get them to the Answerman. Send them to Denny Shane

As I said last week, The Answerman Cometh was going international. Therefore, translation for the linguistically challenged: The Answer Man Comes - Part Four. You could say, The Answerman is multi-tongued... kinda, sorta.

This was a rough week with questions. I had to dig really deep in that part of my brain that is really reserved for old, dusty articles and things that I learned in school, heard about on street corners in Fishtown... just in case I was ever a contestant on Jeopardy! Problem is that as I get older, it keeps getting harder to pull the answers out.

First question...


Dear Denny: Rubber Cement: is it hard rubber or soft cement? Signed Always sticking, blue2go


Dear blue2go: This question confuses many people blue2go. Should it be hard? or is it better soft? It continually goes round and round, up and down, all over the place. Actually blue2go, it's both. However, I checked with Monique at Home House Calls and Stucco Siding and she said the best method is to mix it around and play with the mixture. She said pretty soon you'll see that while it starts out as soft cement, once you keep playing with it... eventually it does turn into hard rubber. Let me know how this works out for you.

Now here we have magicfingers... she keeps asking where her question is... her question first appeared here 2 weeks ago, AND I answered it on 16 January... "well little miss magicfingers, I gotchur question right here, yeah baby.. right here... See below please...


Dear Denny: Could you explain the "separation of church and state?" Signed, Religiously Curious, magicfingers

Dear magicfingers: At first I thought you were being funny and trying to trip me up, but then after a lengthy discussion with my friend Jack Daniels, I realized you were serious. I threw away all the humorous answers and went straight for the serious one. Here it is. Separation of church and state is extremely hard to explain, however a diagram might be more helpful. Get a pencil and paper... ready? Now write the word "church", then on the same line write the word "state" Done that? Finally, draw a simple plain line between the two words. Viola! You now have a graphic display of "separation of church and state" If you followed my directions carefully, you should have something like this: church | state If not go back and re-read the directions.

Moving along...

Dear Denny: Why? Signed Life is a sexy question mark, Jen

Dear Jen, Why Jen? Why?... ok, one last time: Hit it maestro!!... M - I - C (see ya real soon) K - E - Y, (why? Because we LOVE you.) M - O - U - S - E. Now that's it Jen.. no more, not gonna sing it anymore, even if you are a cute, hot and sexy female and I love your blog.. oh ok... M - I- C... laugh
(As a side note: when I was ummm about 10 and my sister was 6 we would watch the Mickey Mouse Club with our MM ears on. When we were bad, my father made us watch it without our ears... so traumatic..)


Next question from a newcomer...

Dear Denny: What is the meaning of Life? Signed MiKell

Dear MiKell, This answer is so easy I'm almost ashamed to put it here. Please refer to Jen's signature above. She summed it up nicely when she signed her question "life is a question mark." So let me know if that cleared your quandry up a bit.


el baño, por favor?...POR FAVOR!!

Dear Denny: Donde esta el baño? Signed I can't hold it anymore, Kat

Dear Kat, There are just so many ways I could answer your question. However, in the sense of urgency, let me pick just one, very quick answer... por el vestíbulo y a su izquierda.

Now for something historical...


Dear Denny: Who said this? "...It is natural for man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts... etc. Signed, I regret that I had but one question to submit, NowDanny


Dear NowDanny, I really had to think about this one... I reached way down into my brain for this... then it started to come clearer to me... It was a beautiful spring day in ole Virginny, right around Richmond. The blacksmith was toiling away at his shop when he saw the distinguished man approach... "Morning there Mr. Pat, beautiful day, care for a shot of ol' granmas' Elderberry Wine? "No thanks blacksmith" Pat replied, I'm due at old Saint John's Church. I'm giving a speech today... hey blacksmith, tell me how this sounds..." Ole Pat took in a deep breath and billowed out, "...it is natural for man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men engaged in a great and arduous' struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who having eyes see not, and having ears hear not, the things that so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anquish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and provide for it.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past." "Wow Pat, sounds so statesman like Pat, hey ya know, just last night Mrs. Blacksmith was complaining about all the house chores and she shouted, "Give me liberty or give me death"... soon as I heard that I thought of you and you might want to use it sometime" "Blacksmith I thank you, I'll work on it. Well, I need to git now." Just then the town preacher came along, "Morning there kind sir, and how is Mr. Henry doing?"

On his way into St. John's Church, Henry picked up a paper laying on the ground. It was the day's newspaper, 20 March 1775 and the headline read: Better luck next time Now Danny! laugh!

Well thank you folks for trying to trip up The ole Answerman... stay tuned because I'll be Cometh again next Sunday.


Birth Announcements and Death Notices

In 1944, Jackie DeShannon, Hazel Kentucky, singer (What the World Needs Now) and in the dusty death notices we have in 1940, Leon Trotsky dies of wounds inflicted by an assailant the day before.

Gentle Reminder of the Day

Still time :) Come on, you know you wanna send in your picture.

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