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18 August 2005

Ok, Ok... I Admit It...


F

rom my first set of genuine Ginzu knives, I have been an addict of junk. You know, you buy things that if you don't posses one you'll die. I needed those Ginzu knives just in case one day I needed to cut in half my beer cans and then go make a hoagie and slice tomatos.

Yesterday I struck it rich! The first item on the right is a Pedometer. I decided for my health I should measure how much I walk in a day. How many steps I am taking to improve my heart, breathing, etc. I went to a website called "America on the Move." The premise here is that you are to walk the entire length of the Alaska Military Highway by 28 September 2005... all 2451 kilometers, or for our measurement impaired, 1523 miles. By the time I am finished and reach the other end of the highway I'll either be dead or extremely fit and much slimmer. In order to reach this goal I need to walk 1823-2000 steps each day. Ummmm, yesterday I walked 500 steps, so today I have to walk 3646-4000 steps to make up for it. And did I buy a cheap one? No... I bought one that talks to me! A very nice lady comes on and says: "you have walked xx steps so far" I think more of an incentive would be if she came on and said: "hi sexy, you have walked xx steps closer to me" I'm exhausted already. I wonder if anyone will pick up a hitch-hiker along the highway?

The second item on the Denny Shane improvement list is a tooth whitener! Yep, after all these years I've decided yellow is not my color, especially on my teeth. So I saw this "wonder" paste on TV and like the Ginzu knives of old, I rush to the phone and ordered my tooth whitener.

Pictured at right is the setup which arrived yesterday. Ok, looks easy enough... the long thing is the injector filled with some kind of miracle paste. There are two sides to the container and each one filled with a special paste. I take it and lay a line of paste on the teeth guard, the clear thingy. Having done this I put the tooth guard into my mouth just like a sports mouthpiece. Now comes the space age part. You see the blue light thing? (I turned it on so you could get the full effect) I now put that into my mouth clamp down and turn it on. It shines a blue light into my mouth for 10 minutes.

I was so impressed with this setup that I called White Light and cancelled all future shipments... immediately. The bottem line here is that while I may still have slightly discolored teeth, dammit I will be looking healthy as a result of my pedometer!

Observations and Questions
Admit it... what have you bought because you couldn't live without it? And now find it totally useless, if you can find it at all?

Birth Announcements and Death Notices

She started it all, literally. In 1587, Virginia Dare, the 1st American born of English parents. And in today's death notices we have none other than Mr. Genghis Khan, Mongol conqueror, died in 1227.

Gentle Reminder of the Day

Still time :) Come on, you know you wanna send in your picture.

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