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16 September 2005

Ever Have That Feeling...


T

hat there is something just not right? I sat last night on my sofa watching TV and thought to myself: Dear God, please give me a decent blog idea for tomorrow and I'll do (insert any worthwhile cause) as thanks. Within seconds a mental image appeared in my mind. It wasn't a pretty image either. Ever have that feeling that people are laughing at you? or just staring at you? I am going way back in my history for this one and people were both staring and laughing at me...

I was going on a "first date" with a co-worker of mine. We worked for the same supermarket... she was beautiful... an inch taller than I was, gorgeous shoulder-length blonde hair, and it was real. I was actually stunned that she agreed to go out with me. Geez, talk about nervous. I did the usual showered, shaved, etc. Got the keys to my father's '64 Ford Country Squire Station Wagon even.

I think we were going out for dinner, I don't remember now, but that's not the important part of this night. It was not only our first date but the first time I was going to also meet her parents for the first time. Every guys' major nightmare.

I got to the house and began walking up the endless front steps that went on forever, to her porch.... I think there were 4 steps. I took a deep breath, then knocked. Within seconds her father answered the door... very tall... heck Rita was an inch over me and I'm 5'11". "Hi Mr. Hendricks, I'm Denny and I'm taking Rita on a date tonight." He looked at me strangely and said to come in...

Mr. Hendricks was a photographer by trade and there was a newly married couple in the living room going over the proofs of their wedding. He introduced me and I sat down. The couple seemed to stare at me for what seemed like a really long time... an unusual amount of time actually. Geez, I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. Rita came walking down the living room stairs looking absolutely gorgeous. She looked at me and I could see her stifling a laugh which she managed to contain to a nice smile. What the hell is wrong with these people?

Fast forward to my car after exiting the house. We get inside and Rita begins laughing her ass off... she's practically crying she's laughing so hard... Frustrated I said, "ok, what the hell is wrong with all you people?" Rita was laughing and crying so much she couldn't speak... she could only point. She motioned to the rear-view mirror on the car: I looked.... I was horrified. She laughed even harder and since we hadn't moved the car yet, she said for me to excuse her that she had to run back in the house to pee really bad.

Apparently I had cut myself in a zillion places while shaving... back then it was very common to take little pieces of toilet paper and place the torn pieces on the cuts... with the paper absorbing the blood. You usually left the toilet paper on for awhile and then could remove it after the cut had somewhat stopped bleeding.

Can you guess what I forgot to do in all my excitement? Yes Denny, you're an idiot. I forgot to remove all of the toilet paper from my face before I left the house. Where the hell were my parents? brother or sister? Didn't anyone care to look at me when I left the house? There were little nicks right up to horrible gashes... all covered in blood-soaked toilet paper all over my face...

I think this was the first time I realized that I was living in An Anything But A Normal Life.

Observations and Questions
Have you ever done anything so stupid while dating?

Birth Announcements and Death Notices

Born today in 1924, Lauren Bacall, Staten Island, actress (Dark Passage, Key Largo) and in the warm, cuddly death notices we find in 1498, Tomas de Torquemada, Inquisitor General, who burned 10,000 people during the famous Inquisition.

Art Gallery Notice

Come on! Come on! Wait are you waiting for? You know you wanna do it!

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