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28 October 2005

Original "Out of Office Replys"


onest, I didn't make any of these up... they're real and have actually been used as 'gone away' messages in offices around the country.

11. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

10. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of
the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received
anything at all.

9. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
removed so that I may be promoted to upper management.

8. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless e-mails you
send me until I return from vacation on 01/05. Please be patient and
your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

7. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged
$5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in
your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and
try sending again. (the beauty of this is that when your return, you
can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

5. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system. You are currently in 352nd place, and expect to receive a
reply in approximately 19 weeks.

4. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
your PC for my response.

3. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother
to leave me any messages.

2. I've run away to join a different circus.

And, the winner is:

1. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Loretta" instead of

Observations and Questions
What is the message on your machine?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1914. Dr. Jonas Salk, NYC, medical researcher, made polio a fear of the past. And in the death column we find in 1957 Anthony J Morabito co-owner of SF '49ers, dies while watching a game.

Portrait Studio!
Come on... I'm running out of space... don't get cut-out.
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