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26 November 2005

The Saturday...


M

orning Comics. Nothing to write about today so I am providing a few jokes that I thought were funny. Enjoy.

Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

* * *


A blond wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

Startled, the blond moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blond, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"

The voice replied,

"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."

* * *


Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two darn mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needles used in lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Observations and Questions
Do you have a joke you would like to share? In case you might be wondering about the music today... it's the original music score of Parla Piu Piano.. which later became the theme for The Godfather.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1922, Charles M Schulz, cartoonist (Peanuts). And in the death notices in 1973, Albert DiSalvo, the Boston strangler, stabbed.

The Butler Didn't Do It!!
Have you visited our novel and book review and chat department? It's right there on the left. Go visit and sign up for a free account and be part of our growing literary department.
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