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18 December 2005

Excuse Me Miss...

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kay. Yesterday I HAD to go Christmas shopping for a few things. So I went to a local mall near me. I needed to get a CD. There was not a music store in the mall but there was a Sears right there. The Sears I use to shop in back home in Philly had a record store so why not this one.

I went in and walked around on the first floor for awhile before going to the 2nd floor. I looked in earnest for a store directory before I would ask a salesperson. Could not find a directory.

Then I saw her... man, I am telling you she was Drop Dead "forget Kelly Monaco" Gorgeous. What she ever was doing working in a Sears was beyond me. I got in line behind two customers: gab, gab, how are the kids, gab, gab... geez ladies, there are serious shoppers behind you.

My turn finally!! Yippeee! I am sooooo glad I put my Aramis on in the morning. I could not stop looking at her... all of her. Her black hair flowing down, laying across her forehead. I just KNEW she had on some kind of sensual prefume. It was my turn to smell her... oooppss... I meant be waited on. Here is how the conversation went and from this point on she will be referred to as: GSG, gorgeous sales girl. And I will be known as LOMWWW, Lecherous Old Man Walking With Walker.

GSG: Hi! (translated meant : hi there you handsome, studly young man with no walker.)
LOMWWW: Hi and good morning! (translated meant: hi cutie... you are unbelievably hot.)

GSG: Can I help you sir?: (translated: MMmmMmmm honey, I get off at 5, wanna date?)
LOMWWW: Yes, you can, I hope. (translated: I'll bet you could give me another stroke.)

LOMWWW: Could you tell me where the record department is?
GSG: Ummm. Record department? ummm.

(I could hear the wheels turning in her head: whirrr... whirrrr... clink... thud.)

LOMWWW: Yes, you know a record store, a music store...
GSG: Oh! You mean a music store where they sell CD's?

LOMWWW: (Dammit Denny... a record store?? )
GSG: I think there might be one on the 2nd floor... no, maybe in the basement... no, I think it closed down. Sorry)

Hey now, if you read correctly, in the preface, I did not say she appeared to have any working brain cells.

Observations and Questions
Ever run into someone who you thought was totally attractive until they spoke?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in, 1972, Alyssa Jane Milano. Brooklyn NY, actress (Samantha-Who's the Boss, Jennifer-Melrose Place, Phoebe-Charmed). And in the death department we find in 1996, Marcello Mastroiani, actor, (8½, Assassin, Family Diary), dies at 72.
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