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31 January 2006

BUT DAD, I WANT A ONE JUST LIKE YOURS


A

h yes, the ancient struggle between parent and child... Tattoos... Actually, when these works of art began over 2,000 years ago in Polynesia they were originally marks of tribesmanship. They identified which local tribe you belonged.

In Samoa, the tradition of applying tattoo, or tatau, by hand has been unbroken for over two thousand years.

no! you cannot get a naked girl on your back!

These works of art were also used as a means of identification during WWII. For example if you were blown up, you possibly could be identified by your tattoo. Interestingly enough, if you had a naked girl tattoo you were not allowed into the U.S. Navy. Many potential enlistees went and had clothes put on their naked girls. Nurses uniforms were most popular. However, once you were sworn in... that's a different story.

Nowadays everyone is getting one. It seems however, that more females are getting them. Flowers, zodiac signs, with butterflies toping the list... so far I haven't seen any naked men on a girls back.

This one girl I knew back in Philly. She is/was a hooker (no, I never availed myself, but we were platonic friends... honest!) and she had a raging battleship tattooed across her chest. It was amazing. That thing looked like it could really do some damage. I happened to see her when I was in Philly last and now, 30 years later, it turned into a tugboat. One good thing that remained were the smokestacks!

And they looked good! And they looked good!

Observations and Questions
Fess up... do you have one? Where is it? and what is it? and are you still happy you have it? GIRLS ONLY! Please send a picture of your tattoo to me in confidence. Tattoo Inspector Hey... maybe we'll have an art show right here!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1921, Mario Lanza, Philadelphia PA, actor/singer (Great Caruso, Toast of New Orleans). And in our death vault we find in 1788 [Bonnie Prince] Charles E Stuart, English pretender to the throne, dies at 67.
30 January 2006

IS IT TIME TO REGULATE RINGTONES?


T

rust me, when I say I am all for the Arts and Entertainment in the world, however I really have to drawn the line at ringtones. Do I really need Gwenn Stephani singing out Hollaback Girl on my phone when I get a call? You're getting a call, she sings what... 2 words and you're on the phone talking. You didn't even hear her sing.

one ringy dingy, two ringy dingys


Now if you're not just satisfied with Madonna beating out Like a Virgin, you can also get backgrounds... so you can sit and stare at your phone while it's not singing?

Not only all that but now you can get Windows on it. Word for Windows, Excel... can you imagine riding on a bus and trying to do the company budget for the next fiscal year? Maybe a PowerPoint presentation that will get you that promotion? Ooopps, bump, bump... crap gotta go back and delete because of those potholes. How can you enjoy playing PacMan when the buttons are so small you are forced to use a teeny stick to move him? On the upside to that point, if you lose your little pointer-stick, you could always reach for a paperclip.

I'm looking at my old geezer of a phone right now... it just sits there... no tricks, no entertainment... what does it do? Oh right, it rings like a normal phone should, not like a Disney World production. Come on boy... jump! fetch?... play dead? Finally, something it can do well.

Observations and Questions
Do you have a cell phone? What is your ringtone? Send me your cell number in an email and I promise to call you when you least expect it! lol

People That Have Emailed Me Their Cell/Regular Phone Numbers So Far


At 7:00AM - Zero
At 7:15AM - Still Zero
At 7:45AM - Ummm, Zero
At 8:15AM - Sigh


Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1951, Phil Collins, England, singer/drummer (Genesis-Against All Odds). And in the death notices we find on this date in 1838, Osceola, chief of Seminole Indians, went to the big campfire in the sky while in jail.

The Not So Normal Photo Gallery
And speaking of ring-a-ding-ding... I'l like to welcome some new paople to our Not So Normal Picture Gallery. Crabby of Crabcakes' Cowpie Field, then Clora from the House of Snark and last but not least we have Cootera (and Gus) from Cootersnap. Welcome to the Not So Normal Picture Gallery!

If I've forgotten anyone, please let me know.
29 January 2006

AN OPEN LETTER TO ASSWIPE AIRLINES


D

ear Asshole: Yes you... the guy that keeps making me sit and erase your stupid airline reservations from my comments section... After erasing 30 of your stupid damn advertisements for your irritating advertisements at 2:00AM when I woke up... I am pissed.

When I first started this blog I allowed 2 days then I clicked on the 'do not allow' comments button. Then after a few months I got lazy and stopped doing it.

However, because of you, I'll now cut off comments after a blog entry is 2 days old. Yes, after 417 blog entries on the Not So Normal News I am resorting to my old tactics.

I really don't want to install the cryptic letter thing in order to stop your advertising and inconvenience my readers and posters... but I will if you continue.

However, if you would like to advertise on my blog... email me. I can set up very attractive advertising rates, just for you.

Trust me, I will find out who you are... you won't be making these postings anymore... I guarantee it.

Extra Point Question
So what do you do to keep these people from advertising?


AND WHILE I'M AT IT...


What the hell kind of court is Iraq running over there? I am so damn sick and tired of Saddam Hussein getting his panties in a bunch and walking out of the court room... he should be banned from the room unless he is hogtied. The latest walkout happened within minutes of the trial resuming, Abdel-Rahman ejected Saddam's former intelligence chief, Barzan al-Tikriti, after he refused to keep quiet and called the trial "a daughter of a whore." Barzan was dragged out by court guards.

The defense team protested that they were being treated unfairly and threatened to leave. "If you leave then you can't come back for future sessions," Abdel-Rahman told them.

Saddam's chief lawyer Khalil al-Dulaimi said the U.S.-sponsored court was illegal and "run by the Americans." He and his colleagues then left the courtroom. When some of the defendants stood up to leave as well, Abdel-Rahman told security guards to sit them down.

"I want to leave," Saddam, dressed in a dark suit and collared shirt, told the judge.

"Then leave," said Abdel-Rahman.

"It is a tragedy. I led you for 35 years. How can you lead me out of court?" Saddam asked.

"You wanted to leave," the judge replied shortly, after which Saddam left. He was followed by his former vice president, Taha Yassin Ramadan.


Now excuse me now while I leave, go jump into bed, put the pillow over my head and SCREAM!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1880, W C Fields, [William Claude Dukenfield] Philadelphia PA. And in our death notices we find in 1964 Alan Ladd, actor, (Shane - when this movie came out I honestly thought it was about my family. lol), dies at 50 in Palm Springs CA
28 January 2006

GETTING TO KNOW YOU ME, GETTING TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU ME...


W

ell, I swore I would never do anymore of these but as usual, I crashed (translated: no will power) and have done a few that I thought were interesting and good for a weekend posting. So enjoy them and now you'll know what I am really like! I know, I know, y'all thought I was this suave and debonair guy from Philly/Houston... now you'll know the truth. LOL


Your travel type: Travel Yup

Denny Shane likes exotic and adventurous travel, but prefers cities with fast paced life. Having a keen interest in other cultures and always brings home a few souvenirs, legal but mostly illegal.

Shopping in Bangkok, getting a tailor made suite in Kuala Lumpur, that's the kind of thing Denny Shane is into. Even though he likes to get away, he prefers his travels to be comfortable.

Top Destinations:

Transylvania
Kelly Monaco's Pad

Denny's Do Not Go Advice:

North Korea
Get Your Own Travel Profile



You're a Wild Drunk

You can't get enough to drink. Seriously, you'll just go puke and start pounding them back again!
What Kind of Drunk Are You?


Your Blog Should Be Yellow

You're a cheerful, upbeat blogger who tends to make everyone laugh.
You are a great storyteller, and the first to post the latest funny link.
You're also friendly and welcoming to everyone who comments on your blog.
What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?



You Are 52% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.
How Abnormal Are You?



Your Porn Star Name Is...

Jerry Jackme
What's Your Porn Star Name?



Observations and Questions
So there ya have it folks... the real Denny Shane... oh the humility of it all. So, did anything surprise and amaze you? LOL

Extra Point Question
Oh go ahead... you KNOW you want to see what your porn name is... but ya gotta come back and tell me! lol

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1936 Alan Alda (Alphonso D'Abruzzo), New York City, NY, actor (Hawkeye Pierce-M*AS*H). And in the dismal death notices we find in 1996, Jerry Siegel, comic book writer (Superman), dies at 81.
27 January 2006

AGREEMENT REACHED: BOYS CAN WEAR SKIRTS TO SCHOOL. NO DECISION ON PANTIES


B

elieve me, I am all for freedom of speech, which is a law that protects you and I from prosecution for acting like idiots on the streets of the USA... but now we have an agreement from a U.S. school district which will allow boys to wear skirts to class if they wish. Appropriate length was discussed... does this mean the boys will not be able to stay up with fashion and wear mini-skirts?

Seventeen year old Michael Coviello first wore a costume-style dress but high school officials told him to go home and change. But then the district's superintendent advised Coviello he could purchase everyday dresses and skirts at a retail store, (hmmmmm?) which Coviello did, the ACLU said.

now that he can wear skirts... how about Cameron Boy Short Panties?


But after a few days, he was sent home with a note from his principal saying if he wore a dress, kilt or skirt, he could no longer attend school.

The district's dress code bans shorts between Oct. 1 and April 15, but allows skirts, a policy 17-year-old Michael Coviello believes is discriminatory.

Observations and Questions
Should we push the envelope a little further and allow boys to officially wear panties to school, provided they wear skirts?

Extra Point Question
You normally wear: granny? french? thong? au naturale?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1592, Pierre de La Barre, composer And in the death notices we find in 1993, Andre "the Giant" Roussimoff, WWF wrestler, dies of heart attack at 49.
25 January 2006

THE NOT SO NORMAL NEWS HAS BEEN BEAMED INTO OUTER SPACE!


O

n 18 January 2006 at exactly 10:15am est, my little humble blog was transmitted into outer space. Yes, my blog is trying to communicate with outer space beings!

Now I ask you.... how cool is that???


I can see it right now... fellow bloggers on Beta 4 in the far nebula sitting around doing work on their computer when ZAP... all of a sudden there's my blog on their screen and they're reading all about the hottest, up-to-the-minute news, AND reading YOUR comments!

Ten years from now your blog will be reaching the undiscovered, unchartered, never-before-touched-by-human-hands planet of Pluto! The 6th transmission for Blog in Space trailed "New Horizons" at north latitude of 28* 31' 27'', west longitude of 80* 35' 53'', and with a frequency of 6105.0 MHz!

So I signed up to go where no man has gone before, well almost anyway.

Observations and Questions
How cool is this? Plus I have to thank singing diva, Deni Bonet for being beamed into space and giving me this idea.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1905, Maria Augusta von Trapp, Austria, singer, inspired "Sound of Music". And in the death notices we find in 1973, Edward G Robinson [Goldenberg], actor (Little Caesar), dies at 79.

ALERT! ALERT! INVISIBLE BLOGGER STEALS BLOG ENTRY, AGAIN!


Y

es, faithful blog readers, it's happened again. Very late last night I put the finishing touches on an outstanding blog entry for this morning. I decided to go to bed and figured I would put the finishing touches on it when I woke up this morning.

"911, what's your emergency?" --- "good morning, someone stole my blog"

Lo and behold when I woke up this morning... it was gone! I have been searching everywhere... I even looked in my directory where I hide all of my porn. Not there either.

I swear... I know this looks to you as if I had nothing to write about and just made up this story to cover my laziness.

It's true, honest, pinky swear even.

Observations and Questions
If you or someone you know may have information that leads to the capture of the mysterious blog stealer, please call the FBI and tell them. HUGE reward offered!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1882, Virginia [Adeline] Woolf, London, author (Jacob's Room, To the Lighthouse). And in our illustrious death notices on this date we find in 1947, Al Capone, Chicago gangster, dies of syphilis at 48. Yuck.

Epilogue
Fast forward to a small and nearly empty room somewhere in Quantico, VA. A brillant yet annoying 25 watt bulb at one end of the room shines on the subject. His head is lowered in shame. The agent looks disgustingly at the criminal who is in chains. He demands an answer to his question: "You were just too lazy to write a blog this morning, weren't you? You thought you could get away with just waking up and acting as if you wrote something."

The chained criminal slowly raises his head in shame...

"Yes" he cries out. "I admit it, I woke up this morning and had nothing to write about... I thought I could get away with it. Now please! Please stop this insidious torture!"

Oh, the wicked web of deceit we weave.
24 January 2006

WHAT DO JOEY, MARY JO AND AMY ALL HAVE IN COMMON?


Y

ou're all sitting there saying, "they were all somehow involved in the Long Island Lolita case. Right? Or more specifically, Amy loved Joey and she shot Mary Jo in the head? Right? And you are kinda/sorta right but not on the money as to what I'm talking about.

Ladies and Gentleman, thanks for joining us here on the Joey, Mary Jo and Amy Show! That's right folks, the 3 of them have agreed to do a show together.

maybe Lincoln and Booth can be next? "sorry abe but the last act sucked anyway"


I'm not kidding you gang. The three of them are teaming up to do a TV show. Has reality TV sunk to a new low? I don't even know the channel but I'll bet it's FOX TV. They are the only station kookie enough to come up with this idea.

I know, I know, you think it's a comedy show, right? Nope... they're going to sit down and discuss the whole, miserable shooting all over. You know, hash it all out, settle their nerves.

Quotes from the participants:

Amy Fischer: "It's about time we put this all behind us. It will be interesting to let the public see the healing process at the end." (Sure, Mary Jo forgives you Amy... keep telling yourself that.)

Joey Butaffucco: "There is going to be a lot of shocking revelations, and that is why I am excited to sit down to do this," he said. (Joey, I just bet you are 'excited')

Mary Jo: "Why did Amy shoot me?' I was never able to get that answer." (hmmm, Mary Jo... you sure that bullet didn't go in further?)

Denny Shane: "Excuse me?, barf"

I bet they are excited to sit down and do this. I don't know how to really classify it. Comedy? Drama? Documentary?

Observations and Questions
The question is obvious... will you watch it?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1943, Sharon Tate Dallas TX, actress (Valley of the Dolls). And in 1975, Larry Fine actor (3 Stooges), dies at 72.

The Not So Normal Photo Gallery
I'd like to welcome Dawn from Tiny Voices in My Head as the newest member of the Almost Normal Members of the Not So Normal Club Portrait Gallery. Go visit Dawn and tell her I sent ya. I get a half nickle for everyone I send to her! Hey, yes, I'm a whore and will do anything for money!
22 January 2006

EXAMINING A DEAD BUT GROWING ART... POOR AUNT OLGA, EGYPT WAS HER LOVE AND NOW SHE'S A PYRAMID


L

iterally, well... kinda/sorta. Actually, I may perhaps be behind the times in this department, since I am no longer a Trustee of the old Kensington Burial Grounds back in Philadelphia. I try and stay current on the latest in fads for funerals, burials and such... you know, so I can appear interesting to people I meet at parties.

Normally, when a person dies, they are buried, cremated or even shot into outer space now as has Gene Roddenbury of Star Trek. Okay now... hold on to your hats, as this is where we take a sudden left turn. No more turning your loved one into worm food... gone are the days of having the dearly departed in a box or urn sitting on your mantle. Now you can have them hung on the wall with pride!

The newest craze in funery... no, not FUN ery... but funery as in funerals. Let's say your dear, elderly, loving Aunt Olga has died. What to do you ask? Fear not... there are artist leaping all over this canvas we call earth. They will spend a day with you during your bereavement to talk about the recently deceased.

you're gonna do what with me after I'm gone?


Once they get an idea of the type of person they are dealing with... they will take dear Aunt Olga's ashes back to the studio.... where the artist will paint something that Aunt Olga liked while on this earth. Once the last paint-stroke is applied the painting would normally be finished. Not in this case...

Let's assume the painting is a nice lake scene; trees, leaves, a nice long dirt road or people rowing a boat. The artist will take some of the ashes of Aunt Olga and sprinkle them alongside the roadway. That's right, as a dirt road. Or perhaps Aunt Olga liked mountains... you guessed it, her ashes will now become a part of the mountain range in the distance. Glued onto the freshly painted picture for eternity. Think of the possibilities. If Aunt Olga was an archeologist, she could now be part of the Great Pyramid... forever.

Whatever is leftover gets carefully swept back into the urn. When dry, you get the completed painting, ready to hang over your fireplace or other place that Aunt Olga liked.

Observations and Questions
Now do I even have to ask the question here? Have you experienced this? would you? so, whatcha think of the weather?

Musical Selection Commentary
Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show has nothing to do with today's blog topic. I came across it last night looking for something to occupy my mind. It's still in there rumbling around, plus I like it. LOL

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1832 Edouard Manet, France, Impressionist painter (Dejeuner sur L'Herbe). And in our artistic death notices we find in 1947, Pierre Bonnard, French painter/illustrator, dies at 79.

Sunday Morning Joke


T

he CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...2 men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another, eight in a row. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks," she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1959, Linda Blair St Louis MO, actress (Exorcist, Chained Heat, Savage St). And looking over the death notices we find in 1969, Judy Garland singer/actress (Wizard of Oz), dies at 48 of an overdose.
21 January 2006

Today IS...


S

aturday... Right? Let's see, I thought it was Saturday when it was really Friday, and I was nicely corrected by Stacy from the Peanut Queen. Then I didn't realize that I had welcomed Tricia from WoodNotWood as Lisa. Darnit Lisa stop invading my brain... lol.

The only question is which Lisa? I think there are about 5 different women by the name of Lisa that visit and she knows who she is... ok, I slithered out of that one and now to move on. Come to think about it, there are 3 different Tricia's that visit. Dammit! I want different names now, this is too confusing.

And as always on the blog on Saturdays, here is a little joke:


Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all !!!

2. Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ???, That is what the fur is for!

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who the boss is here!!! You dont see me picking up your poop do you ???

Observations and Questions
Any plans for the weekend? No plans?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1941, Placido Domingo Madrid Spain, opera tenor. And in the unending death notices we find in 1959, Cecil Blount de Mille producer (10 Commandments), dies at 77.
20 January 2006

Thank You...etc


T

here are 2 reasons why I am actually writing a blog entry on a Saturday (Ack! Thanks to Stacy for letting me know it was Friday.) The first reason is to thank all of you that took the time to answer my little quiz... on, ummmm Thursday. Your answers were well accepted and I appreciate your time.

The second reason is to get the Back Street Boys off this blog. Now I know there might be a few fans out there who enjoy the Back Street Boys, Menuto and the new group: I'm Gay, Get Over It" and if I have insulted you... well, I'm... uh... yeah ok... whatever.

Now look I don't want anti-gay hate mail. I'm as liberal as the next guy. I do not dislike gay girls. They're ok people in my book... and video library!

Plus, believe it or not I received an email from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. They asked why, over in the Not So Normal Members sidebar, the females are ontop and the guys on the bottom. I simply couldn't resist... because I like women ontop.

Extra Point Question
Top or Bottom?

Observations and Questions
Is there or are there any particular musical artist you would like to see featured here? I'm open to almost anything.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1896, George Burns [Nathan Birnbaum], New York City NY, actor/comedian. And in our Saturday death notices we find in 1984 Tarzan, Peter John [Johnny] Weissmuller actor (Tarzan, Jungle Jim), dies after a series of strokes in Acapulco at 79.

The Not So Normal Photo Gallery
I'd like to welcome Lisa Tricia from WoodNotWood for sending her picture in to be hung on the side bar. And now... where's yours?
19 January 2006

Tell Me...


W

hy? Pretty Please? Pretty Please with a Big Red Cherry ontop? Why do you visit blogs, and specific blogs everyday?


1). I visit blogs everyday because:
a). they make me laugh
b). the make me sad
c). they are interesting
d). they make me think

2.) I usually read the Side Bars
a). true
b). false
c). what's a side bar?

3.) I enjoy a blog because of:
a). the humor
b). the experiences of the writer
c). the sex
d). I enjoy reading about sadder people than me
e). all of the above

4. I stop reading a blog because:
a). they become boring
b). they are not informative or interesting
c). they don't load fast enough
d). they don't make me laugh anymore
e). none of the above

5. Essay:
a). Anything you want to write about


Observations and Questions
Ok, you may think this is stupid but I am really interested in what makes you go to a blog and read it. And no, it's not for the same reasons that I do or don't. At one time there were 100 plus comments on here... lately there are 20, maybe 25. Is it me? Content? I really do care and want to know. I'm a big boy and take the criticism (sometimes).

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices On This Date
Born this date in 1809, Edgar Allan Poe, Boston, author. And let's pray for the soul of Dagobert I, King of Austrasia/Soissons/Burgundy/Neustrie who died in 639 AD.
18 January 2006

Let The Fantasy...


B

egin... Phantom of the Opera has been on HBO for awhile now and I think I have seen every showing of it. While Andrew Lloyd Webber actually wrote the musical for Sarah Brightman, the lead of Christine for the movie is Emmy Rossum... Emmanuelle Grey Rossum, and does her voice ever soar to the heavens! While Emmy steals every scene, the male counter-parts leave something to desire. She makes this entire movie work. And what really shocked me when I read it, was that Emmy Rossum was only 17 years old when the film was made. 17!!! (12 September 1986) Can you imagine what her career will develop into as she gets older?

I can't get enough of it. I am an addict I think. A far cry from the original Phantom starring Lon Chaney in 1925, this version is quite different. The play has been so good that as of 9 January 2006 it became Broadway's longest running show... ever with a world-wide take of 3.2 Billion dollars. Billion, with a B.

The story Le Fantome de l'Opera, written originally by Gaston Leroux is acclaimed as one of, if not, his bests works ever. Written by Leroux in 1910, this story became his greatest work.

And I was really amazed when I found out that the Phantom really existed. He was not, as was long believed, a creature of the imagination of the artists, the superstition of the managers, or a product of the absurd and impressionable brains of the young ladies of the ballet, their mothers, the box-keepers, the cloak-room attendants or the concierge. Yes, he existed in flesh and blood, although he assumed the complete appearance of a real phantom; that is to say, of a spectral shade.

Observations and Questions
Have you seen it yet? What did you think? And... am I the only person, being the romanticist that I am,... that believes Christine, deep down into the depths of her soul, really did love the Phantom?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born in 1892, Oliver Hardy, Harlem GA, comedy team member (Laurel & Hardy). And in our death notices we find in 1996, Minnesota Fats [Rudolf Wanderone Jr], billiard hustler, dies at 82.
17 January 2006

When Ya Gotta Go...


Y

a gotta go! I have to admit, today I am scrapping the bottom of the Blog Barrell for a topic. Why? Because I kept waking up last night to pee. I stayed up later than usual and went to bed about 11 PM. I no sooner got nice and cozy... into the right position and then it happened. Dammit, I had to go pee. So up I get and into the bathroom.

Back into bed, back into my comfortable position... my eyes open and I look at the clock... 12:15 AM and guess what? That's right, it's pee time again. Once again I throw the covers off and head to the bathroom. Once back in bed, now I can't go back to sleep. I start the same old routine... toss and turn... toss and turn.

The next thing I knew it was 1:30AM... and guess what? Yep... this time it was different going to the bathroom... I stubbed my little toe on the bureau. Why does it hurt more when you stub your toe in the dark? I limp the rest of the way.

I drifted off back to sleep and I was just about to kiss someone and my eyes popped open. It was 4AM. I layed there waiting and waiting and waiting. Nothing. False alarm? I layed there and began thinking of Galveston and the Gulf of Mexico... the waters slowly crashing against the beach... No!! no water dreams!!

Observations and Questions
Ok, now be truthful. How many times do you get up at night to pee? When I write a blog entry I try to find appropriate music to go with the story. Honest, there were 304 songs relating to peeing. The one playing, Frank Zappa and Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? was the ONLY one that even comes close to being acceptable. I'd be run out of blogland if I ever played some of the others. LOL

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born in 1706, fellow Philadelphian, Benjamin Franklin, Boston, Mass. and in the death notices we find in 1910, Thomas Crapper, inventor of the flush toilet dies. I ask... where would we be today without these two men?
16 January 2006

The Truth Comes Out...


F

inally! As a public service to all of my faithful readers at the Not So Normal News, I once again am blowing the lid off a well guarded secret. It's been a secret simply because no one ever discusses it. What is "it" you're asking? Well, "it" is house dust. I'm talking normal, everyday, run of the mill dust. You wipe and polish every week and the next week it's right back. Where does it come from?

This has puzzled me for a long time, and I am NOT happy I found the answer. I even wrote to the House Cleaning Hints Editor at Playboy. I didn't receive any answer. So much for me reading the copies my barber sets out for his patrons to read. Plus he always hollars "Next" at very in-opportune times. I wonder if this is why I have had 2 strokes... I think about important stuff way too hard? lol... Anyway...

80% of all dust comes from... you ready for this?... your dead skin cells. GAG. That's right... your dead skin cells, your neighbors when they come visit. Those dirty, filthy friends of your kids. The dust which collects in houses is composed of atmospheric dust combined with dust generated by the inhabitants, mostly from sloughed skin cells. Skin Cells!!! Dead skin cells!!

House dust mites, often found in fibers like carpets and beds, feed on the organic components of house dust. Their feces, in turn, become part of house dust and can provoke allergic reactions in humans. You are breathing in dust feces!!

"Oh look honey, here's some dead dust feces your Aunt Olga left last night." GAG.. double GAG.

Observations and Questions
Do I even have to comment here? When will you be dusting this week? Remember when you do dust, you are wiping away some of your family history.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born in 1935, A J Foyt, Houston TX, auto race driver (Indy 500 1961, 64, 67, 77). And in our death notices of past we find in 1972, David Seville [Ross Bagdasarian], (Alvin & Chipmunks), dies at 52.
14 January 2006

The Weekend Comics...


H

ere's a cute joke I thought might make ya laugh a bit today.


An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of
Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one
lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and
shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya little bastard! Spit it out!"

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born in 1741, Benedict Arnold, US General turned traitor (Revolutionary War). Booooo Ben! And in our death notices we find in 1957, Humphrey Bogart, actor (Casablanca, Caine Mutiny), dies at 57.
13 January 2006

Bang!...


W

ith the shot from the start gun, the 2006 Houston Marathon will begin this Sunday morning. It's not an easy run either. Up and down hills, running throughout the city. Down freeways and alongside interstates. Every year I go out and stand at my favorite corner and watch the runners. Usually I can last about 1.5 hours, depending on the weather...

Today however, is when I participate in the marathon so to speak. I'll be down at the George R. Brown convention center here in Houston volunteering to hand out the paperwork, etc. to the runners that come in... Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot I actually do since I somehow manage to screw things up... before my strokes I never screwed anything up.... hmmmm...

On the 27th of the month there will be a party for the volunteers... my favorites... BBQ and beer. Since I now only drink on special occasions, I'll probably stick to BBQ and soda (bleccckkk!). I almost feel guilty going. There are many volunteers that do a whole hell of a lot more than me, they actually work.

Observations and Questions
Have you ever ran in a marathon or any kind of race?

EXTRA! EXTRA! This Just In... Stop the Presses!
MINNEAPOLIS... One gubernatorial candidate in Minnesota is giving a whole new meaning to the "dark side" of politics. A man who calls himself a satanic priest plans to run for governor on a 13-point platform that includes the public impaling of terrorists at the state Capitol building. (Now I have to admit, I like this idea about the impaling.).

Jonathon Sharkey, also known as "The Impaler", plans to launch his gubernatorial campaign on... when else? Friday the 13th. He'll make the announcement in Princeton.

"I'm going to be totally open and honest," said the 41-year-old leader of the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party."

"Unlike other candidates, I'm not going to hide my evil side," he said.

In Minnesota, anyone who pays the $300 filing fee can get on the gubernatorial ballot and it seems that every year a few eccentric candidates make the rounds.

Sharkey raises the bar. For one thing, he told the Star Tribune in an e-mail that he drinks blood. (Hmmmm, at least he is not an alcoholic.)

Including the impaling of terrorists, rapists, drug dealers and other criminals, Sharkey's platform includes emphasis on education, tax breaks for farmers and better benefits for veterans. (Hey, way to go there Drac.)

Sharkey said he worships Lucifer and, while he says he has nothing against Christians, he calls the "Christian God the Father" his "mortal enemy." (This could be a big political mistake.)

Sharkey said he was injured during a parachute jump with the Army in 1982 and receives veterans disability benefits. (He obviously landed on his head).

He has not yet registered as a gubernatorial candidate, but he has already filed as a candidate for the 2008 presidential election.

Political Comments
Oy Vey!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born in 1919, Robert Stack, Los Angeles CA, actor (Eliot Ness-Untouchables, Airplane, Unsolved Mysteries). And in the death notices we find in 1929, Wyatt Earp, US Marshall (OK Corral), dies at 80. Also, one of my favorites... in 1864 Stephen Foster, composer, (My Old Kentucky Home), dies in a New York hospital at 37.
12 January 2006

Mommy, When I Grow Up...


W

hen you were little, do you remember those words? In my own case I finished it with, "a fire engine." Hey, don't laugh. Fire engines have an important job. Why in the world I wanted to be a fire engine, I haven't the foggiest idea. I don't think that calling lasted too long.

Then there was my holy years when I was going to be a priest. If I went into the seminary after high school... let's see... WOW, I'd be celebrating my 40th year. I figure after 40 years I'd probably be Pope by now. Imagine that the first blogging Pope! Maybe I'll post a picture of me doing the hand and arm thing, accepting your cheers.

Can you imagine going into confession, kneeling down to pour your heart out, repeating your adulturous sins and seeing me behind that curtain? Wheeeee!

Observations and Questions
Honestly, what did you want to be when you were grown up? If I can admit to wanting to be a fire engine, you can come clean also!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born in 1951, Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, Cape Girardeau MO, conservative radio & television host. And in the death notices we find in 1928, Ruth Snyder 1st woman to die in electric chair.
11 January 2006

Late Night Wars...


A

re you a late night TV watcher? Leno? Letterman? O'Brien? Lamp Unto My Feet? David Letterman is denying that he is thinking about retirement. Jay Leno has already made up his mind and announced that Conan O'Brien will take over in 2009.

Personally, I don't care for Leno... I don't know why, but I don't. O'Brien is not funny at all... he tries, but just doesn't have it. Letterman is..... well, Letterman. There is just no one that will ever come from behind the shadow of Johnny Carson.

And could someone please explain to me what "Lamp unto" means? For the life of me I can't figure out what you do when you "lamp unto" someone's feet. Do you jump on them? Shine a flashlight on them? Come on folks, I need help.

Has it dawned on you that I don't have a thing to write about today as of yet? I am fishing around, grabbing at straws. Usually when I write my article I am dressed pretty spiffy and ready for work... hair combed, shaved, black, pin-stripped suit, tie, lightly starched, button-down shirt. My shoes are black, wing tips and have a high shine, black, knee length socks. I mean business!!

I knew it was a bad day when I sat down and started this article... bed-hair, two day old beard... snif, snif? hmmm something smells here... Suit? hahahah hahahahha.

Observations and Questions
I can just see a dimly lit bar somewhere in Ireland... Casey: Ok Seamus what do you want to do now? Seamus: Let's go lamp unto the widow Burns' feet. Casey: I'd like to lamp unto her feet ok...

Now seriously... what is "Lamp Unto"?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1960, Vicki Peterson, Los Angeles, CA, rocker (Bangles-Walk Like an Egyptian). And in the neverending death notices we have in 1843, Francis Scott Key, composer, (Star Spangled Banner), dies at 63.
10 January 2006

Far Be It For Me...


T

o toot my own horn, but..... When I was in politics I usually had someone that did that. lol. However, now that I am out of the limelight and a nobody, it excites me when I find out I am now museum stuff. That's right, you read right. Me, little Denny Shane from Fishtown is in a national museum known the world over for it's historical books and papers.

A long, long, long time ago I was on the Board of Trustees of an old cemetery in Philly, The Kensington Burial Grounds which was founded in 1732. Today it is the oldest, STILL ACTIVE cemtery in the entire United States.

Back in 1977 I decided that I would write a book about the place and all proceeds would be donated for the upkeep of the cemetery. Yesterday I got a real shock when my daughter in Philly emailed me and told me my book and name was in the Historical Society of Pennsylvania's library and published on-line. I was astonished. A simple few sentences, it read:

Shane, Dennis J. The History of the Kensington Burial Ground, Palmer Cemetery, Founded in 1732. Philadelphia: Smith-Edwards-Dunlap Co., 1977. UPA/Ph F 158.61 .K46 S53 1977

If you would prefer to see the actual listing, in person, you can see it at:

Big Shot Denny Shane

You just have to scroll down the list until you see my name.

Observations and Questions
I'm so excited I don't know what to ask or say. Today is open mic day!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1945, Rod Stewart, London England, singer (Maggie Mae, Da Ya Think I'm Sexy). And rounding out the death notices we find in 1917, Buffalo Bill Cody, army scout & Indian fighter, dies.
09 January 2006

Talk About Revenge...


R

emember awhile ago I mentioned about seeing an undressed mummy in Niagra Falls and I tried to video tape it and while taping his privates I walked into the glass case displaying him? Well, I was going to write about them discovering he was Ramses I and has finally been returned to Egypt. However, the item below caught my eye. Talk about sweet revenge... come on now... I'm all for getting rid of mice, but throwing them into a fire while they are alive and screaming? This guy got exactly what he deserved.

A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the mans house and set it on fire.

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner, NM, said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house, Mares said from a motel room Saturday.

Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.

No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.

Observations and Questions
So how do you dispose of mice? or any other critter running or flying around?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1935, Bob Denver, New Rochelle NY, actor (Dobie Gillis, Gilligan's Island). And in the death notices we find in 1893, Mohara, Arab ivory/slave trader, dies in battle & is eaten.
06 January 2006

TV Commercials...


L

ove 'em or hate 'em. Do you ever see a TV commercial that you absolutely hate? or one you chuckle with even though you've seen it a hundred times?

The one lately that just cracks me up everytime is for the Discovery channels show called "Myth Busters" It's a "Big Foot" complaining about how the modern world is changing his habitat, imposing on his freedom... then he says "maybe he's next" in the end he ponders "maybe it's because I am Canadian." Cool Canadian accent, the whole nine yards. It's a riot...

On the hate side. We have an attorney here in Houston that is always on TV telling us he can get us thousands for our pain and suffering. The commercial that bothers me the most is where you see people telling us how wonderful this lawyer is and how he helped them. In this commercial there is one girl who says: "I was walking along and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I was hit by a car."

Out of nowhere? Did the car mysteriously appear and hit her?

Observations and Questions
Come on now admit it... you have a favorite commercial and you also have one that makes you cringe... what are they?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1412, Joan of Arc, born in Domremy, France, martyr. And in the death notices we have none other than in 1994, Morty the Moose, (Northern Exposure), dies at 6 years old. Snif.
05 January 2006

Oy Vey!...


T

here are times when I wish I were Jewish so I could walk around all day and say "oy vey!" If you were wondering how my day at the VA went yesterday... "oy vey."

Ok, maybe not a full-fledged oy vey... maybe just "oy". My therapist was named Karen Jo... "oy vey, what a hottie." I immediately looked her over and noticed no ring on her finger... not that it means a damn thing to me, but anyway...

Very cute, perky, attentive, very cute and perky, pretty, intelligent, very cute and perky. This could be a fun thing and I might actually enjoy theraphy.... "oy vey"

I sat directly opposite her... all of the participants sat in a semi-circle. She introduced me to the other nutcases with me. Everyone politely clapped... I decided I didn't like the guy sitting next to me as he broke into his "problem" while people were still clapping for me. He could have waited until they were done. LOL When he finally finished his story 15 minutes later... another guy spoke up about how he gets angry when his kids beat him at chess. I sat back and thought, "Geez, they did it to me again"... remember last time when I was in with a guy that stayed home and talked to ghost? "My kids always beat me at chess and I am really getting angry", the guy stammered. Geez guy... how about learning how to play?

Before I knew it the hour was up and thankfully I didn't have to talk. Once again I will probably go for awhile to be entertained with other peoples problems until they realize I'm not participating and I get thrown out of yet another group. Oy Vey...

Observations and Questions
Have you ever been to theraphy? Did it work? I still don't understand the whole group thing.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1914, George Reeves, [George Lescher Bessolo], actor, (Superman). And in the death notices we have in 1998, Sonny Bono (Representative-R-CA)/singer (Sonny & Cher), dies skiing at 62.
04 January 2006

Happy First Wednesday!...


Y

es folks, Happy Hump Day... it's the first Wednesday of the new year. And I've got lots to do today... unfortunately it's all at my most favorite place in the whole world... the VA Hospital. Ugh...

My first stop is to meet with a therapist to determine which psych group to assign me to... there are 10 groups... one is Depression Education. I'm sure that's where I am headed. The other workshops are: Bipolar Education, Preventing Conflicts, Anger Management, Stress Management, Recovery Skills, Effective Communications, Thought Disorder, Coping with Change and Grief Problems. As most of you already know, my first "group theraphy" try was a disaster and I left it... that was about 2 years ago so I guess they figure they'll give me a 2nd chance.

Next stop is the records department. The good thing about the VA is that you can go and get all of your hospital and doctor records free of charge. Every so often I stop by and bring my records up to date. This way I can sit and browse through the records, at home, and see what these doctors are really saying about me.

Then onto the Pharmacy department. I need to find out where my pills are that I ordered 2 weeks ago.

Then on the way back I need to stop at the apartment complex office to pay my rent. The rent is also going up as of March 1st. My 2nd year here, last year, they didn't raise the rent. This year they are raising it $25.00. By law they can only raise it as high as $25 per month. I also found out that my particular unit is now going for more than $200 per month higher than what I am paying right now and fortunately for me they can't raise it to that level until after I move out.

Observations and Questions
What's on your agenda for today?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1838, Charles Stratton, [General Tom Thumb] (famous short person). And in the death notices we have in 0041, Caligula murdered.
03 January 2006

Virgins versus Sainthood...


W

hich would you rather be? A virgin or a saint? That's a good question but not for today's blog entry. I just needed an attention-grabbing title... I'm starting off the new year with my same problem... what do I write about?

Ok, first of all, if you look to the right, you'll see all the pictures that you have sent me are gone. Well, almost... right where they use to be is a link "High Society Page" click on it and you'll see the photos. I just couldn't do away with them. So many of you are so sexy looking... sorry men, not y'all. We'll see how this works out. And there's a few of you that have your picture on your blog... why not send it to me so I can mount it?

Speaking of cleaning house. I made a new year's resolution to go through all the other links on the rightside and eliminate those that I am not linked to or people who no longer visit me. That is valuable real estate and I need to make good use of it. Maybe by July or August I'll get to that.

Do you have any plans for your blog this year? Changes?

Observations and Questions
Open mike night! Say what you want!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1956, Mel Gibson, Peekskill NY, actor. And in the death notices we discover in 1543, Juan Cabrillo, conqueror of Central America, discoverer of California, dies.
02 January 2006

Once Again We...


A

re gathered here...and it's a New Year... Happy 2006! I guess the obvious question now would be: How did you spend New Year's Eve and Day?

New Year's Eve was very quiet for me. Just me and Dick Clark. He looked exceptionally well. A little trouble speaking but understandable. Good for him! It's amazing how strokes affect people in different ways. Some can't speak, some can't walk... or both. No co-ordination... it can be terrible. I've been soooo lucky with mine. Every so often I might have a problem with a word or two... walking distances can be a problem as well. Anyway, that's not what today's blog is about.

Today is the day you can leave comments and write all about your New Year's Eve and Day... What did you do? Party? Home-body? Give up drinking again? Big dinner?

Years ago I dated a girl who served Black-eyed Peas with dinner on New Year's Day.... BLECCCHHH!!! They are on my permanent top 5 list of foods never to eat... right next to Liver.

New Year's day for me was pretty quiet also. Between channel surfing, computer surfing... I pretty much thought my life sucks. LOL The high-light was getting to watch the Philadelphia Mummers for at least 2 hours on WGN. What are the Mummers you ask? I'll save that for another posting.

Observations and Questions
So... did you make any New Year resolutions that have already gone horribly wrong and plan on breaking by next week?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1930, Julius LaRosa, Brooklyn NY, singer (fired by Arthur Godfrey on the air). And on that old dusty trail to cowboy heaven, in 1974, Tex Ritter, country singer (5 Star Jubilee), dies at 67.