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06 March 2006



nything but the 78th Annual Academy Awards Show last night. Hey now! Stay awake! Further down I talk about breasts and bi-curious girls. I really tried to fight off sleep last night as I watched this burning plane plummet to the ground but only got as far as the first few awards. And to be honest, looking at the results this morning, I apparently didn't miss much. It's really hard to imagine a show with hundreds of our favorite performers and entertainers that they can't put a show together that is entertaining. And the jokes and humorous intentions? I've read funnier tombstones.

The broadcast began on a shaky note with a filmed intro that found past Oscar host Billy Crystal being introduced as this year's host, then declining, followed by Chris Rock, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg, David Letterman, Mel Gibson, even Mr. Speakerphone, none of whom wanted the gig. Finally it went to Jon Stewart. Some advice Jon... don't give up your day job.

The most exciting part was the pre-show... now normally I am not that up on fashion but I do find the dresses, err... lack of dress really interesting. Yes, I'm speaking of the female adornments. As you know it seems every year the dresses get shorter, more ummm "airier" and less material. There is nothing wrong with that! What's wrong with some of these actresses that actually think they've got something to show off.

Now I love small breasted women, but there was one actress and I forget her name that was interviewed and had on a dress and I couldn't find her breasts. I saw a chest but I don't know where they went!

And the nominees for Best Picture...

Brokeback Mountain - about 2 gay cowboys
Capote - about gay novelist Truman Capote
Crash - about exploiting the underbelly of racial conflicts in LA

Geez... I am now happy to say I didn't see a one of them... and thanks to the Academy, I probably won't either. And as a note to gay people, blacks, whites, hispanics and iranians... do not send me hate mail. I'm only pointing out... oh screw it, send me hate mail anyway if ya want, especially bi-sexual, cute girls.

Special Note: If you kind of thought there is a tie-in here between this particular article, today's music, and today's anniversary of the fall of the Alamo... you are very perceptive.

Observations and Questions
Did you watch it? Did you see any of the movies that won? Do you have any cute, bi-sexual female friends that would enjoy being my pen pal?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1806, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Durham, England, poetress and my 18th cousin, twice removed. (Sonnets from the Portuguese - "How do I love thee...") And in the death department we find in 1836, the men of the Alamo.
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