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23 March 2006



elcome back to the latest edition of As the Hammer and Sickle Turns. When last we heard from our friend he was struggling with his new found Russian friend who we will now call "Olga". My ummm friend in his emails to Olga will be known as Name withheld to protect the innocent

As you may remember from yesterdays' blog article, my ummm friend had received an unsolicited email from Olga, blah, blah, blah. You can read it in yesterdays' blog article below. Anyway, my ummm friend decided to write back to Olga with the following email:

Thurs. 23 March 2006

Dear "Olga"

I was surprised to hear back from you and with such a nice letter. To be quite honest I find it hard to believe that a young, 27 year old, sexy, intelligent woman such as yourself would find it hard to find a nice, young Russian man in your homeland.

You sound so interesting and well educated. I know you mentioned that you attended the Pedagogical academy in Moscow but what other educational background do you have? I think Pedagogical studies are so fascinating. Are you good at Pedagogical things?

I was sorry to hear about your father, but you sound like you have a good heart to have gone home to Noginsk to help your mother. I am sure she appreciated your help.

Well, I do not want to take up much of your time, right now. I am sure you are quite busy. Do you have any more sexy pictures?

I will write more later.
Name withheld to protect the innocent

A bit more brazen in his email than the first one he sent "Olga" last week. My ummm friend didn't expect to hear from his hot, Russian lover for awhile, if at all. But when he woke up this morning about 1AM he found the following in his in-box:

Friday, 24 March 2006

Dear Denny!
I am very glad to get your letter today, and I have to say, that I'm happy, that I have decided to communicate via Internet. It is very interesting way of communication, and it is rather new for me. But I have to say, that I am not looking for pen-friend, I want to say, that my intentions are very serious, and I look for my second half,and (I hope, if we with my chosen one will want it both) future husband.

I haven't children and have never been married before, I have my own special reasons for it, may be I'll tell to you about it later. I hope you'll understand me, and if it is only the game for you (I don't think so... but...), tell me about it, please, and may be it will be better for us to stop our conversation, because I don't want to get hurt. I have to say, that I am very interested in you, I want to know you better and to understand you, what kind of man you are... And to decide, was I right or not, when I have written to you. So, what else can I say... I work as an English teacher in the school #5 of Noginsk. I'm 1 m 70 sm tall, my weight is 53 kg.

My favorite flowers are orchids, but I'd love when my man brings me flowers, which he picked up, and it doesn't matter what kind of flowers it is. I like tender colors, such as pink and pastel tones. I like to watch movies at home, some TV shows of course, and sometimes sport channel, but not often, because I have to say, that watching sport alone is not interesting for me. I like outdoors activity, but I have no opportunity for it. I like to walk in the park and to read books there when the weather is good and warm and I have a free time. My small town - Noginsk - is 1 hour far from Moscow.

By the way, I have never been abroad. I live with mum in 2 room-apartment on 7-th floor. I used to work and help my family from my childhood. I believe that God will give me sometime happiness to love and to be loved!

Well, what else can I tell you...? I have a quiet character. I love the nature, flowers, different music (it depends on my mood), sports (swimming and dancing the most). But especially I like to prepare meat and to bake pies. Unfortunately I don't have a man for which it would be desirable to do. Please, do not play with me, do
not damage my feelings! In my turn I want to ask you some questions to understand you better. Please, tell me more about your work and friends, I want to learn more about your family and life in your country. My dear, I'd also like to see some pictures if you don't mind.Denny, I am waiting for your answer with impatience!

Your new friend Olga

Olga also sent my ummm friend 2 new pictures as he requested in his last letter to her. They are herewith submitted.

Olga is on the right. Her friend isn't too shabby either. My ummm friend is thinking bi-sexual here now.

Anyway, my ummm friend decided to write back at least once more before ending this torrid relationship:

24 March 2006

Dear "Olga"!!
You sound like a very interesting young woman. If I were younger I may want to explore the possibilities of a relationship. I thought that I would tell you a little about myself, that you should know. Even though I am single, presently, and looking for a female partner, I am quite older than you. You are so beautiful but you deserve a much younger man, a man that could help you achieve your goals, either in Russia or in the U.S. A man that could satisfy you in all matters of love.

I couldn't help but notice in the pictures you sent that you have an incredible, beautiful body. I think I might have a heart attack if I ever saw you nude. Do you like being nude? I do. That's another thing, I'm not sure we would even be compatible in the sex department. While other things in a relationship are extremely important, sex is also very important. I would hate to tire you out.

Let me know what you think. And I love looking at your beauty if you want to send me any more pictures. I will look around for pictures to send. Do you like fully clothed men or do you like nude men on the beach?
Name withheld to protect the innocent

Observations and Questions
Has my ummm friend gone off the deep end here? I am not sure who is toying with whom's emotions now. Any more good advice?

P.S. And Erin O'Brien, author of "Harvey and Eck", available at, eat your heart out! I got my own Harvey and Eck going on here! ;)

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1874 Harry Houdini [Erik Weisz] Budapest Hungary, magician/escape artist. And in our death notices we find in 1905, Jules Verne, sci-fi author (Around the World in 80 Days), dies at 77.
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