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19 March 2006

GOOD MORNING, THIS IS...


D

enny's brain. We've never chatted before, have we? I guess mainly because Denny is always hogging the computer and he never thinks of me when he's writing. Anyway, he's still sleeping since it's only 3AM and it kinda looks like I've got Blog duty this morning. He'll never know I'm gone for awhile. Just yesterday he went to the supermarket and completely forgot about me. I was sitting relaxing and formulating a new novel I have been playing around with, Chatroom Psycho.

He realized he left me at home when he got back and discovered he had forgotten toilet paper, milk and jalapeno peppers. Anywho, I'm pretty sure Denny has a few jokes on Sunday morning. Here are a few that I've been carrying around for a few weeks. In the meantime I am going to sneak back into bed and back into Denny's dream.... He's having a date with Kelly Monaco. My cousin Pedro, from south of the border and I really enjoy the Monaco dreams, even though it's my distant 2nd cousin, Imagination who creates all the dreams. Enjoy!

SUNDAY JOKES


A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?" He got the following reply.

"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.

My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife.

So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson.

But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"

After staring blankly with a dizzy look on his face, the psychiatrist replied: "Move over!"

---

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?"

---

How to say I Love You in 25 languages:
English
I Love You

Spanish
Te Amo

French
Je T'aime

German
lch Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai Shite Imasu

Thai
Phom rak khun

Italian
Ti amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar

Alabama
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Texas
North Carolina
South Carolina
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parts of Florida:
Nice Ass, Get in the truck!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1848 Wyatt Earp Monmouth IL, marshall-fought in Gunfight at the OK Corral. And in the death notices we find in 1950, Edgar Rice Burroughs, author (Tarzan of the Apes), dies at 74.
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