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27 April 2006

I AM NOT CRAZY! I AM NOT CRAZY! I AM NOT CRAZY!


O

h what a night! No wait, I meant "oh what a dream"... no, no, "oh what a damn nightmare"! It had to be the combination of pistachio nuts and cherry pie before I went to bed.


Had to be... come to think of it, I never had these strange dreams until after that 3rd stroke in February... hmmmm.

It all started very innocently as I was walking down the street, somewhere in Philly, minding my own business. I come to a corner and I walk into a glass wall. "That's strange", I say... With that, I go through the glass wall as if I was invisible. Now on the other side I see that I am in an office building of some kind with two large glass doors. I go through the doors looking for help.

Out from an office walks George Hamilton and he welcomes me. "Where am I?" I regret asking him. "Oh, you just lost your way, let me help you. Just go down this hallway." he smiles. I begin walking down the hallway... and walking, walking, walking, walking and WALKING. At the end of the hallway is a men's room, except there are men and women standing in line. Now I have to pee. I stand at the end of the line, but think this is crazy, I don't have to go that bad, it can wait until I get out of there. I start walking again and am now really lost. Hallways and hallways and hallways... no doors, just hallways. I begin to run...

Somehow I am outside, and everything is blocked off with chicken wire and I can't get out of this damn place. So what do I do? I change into my Superman outfit and begin to fly. I figure I can fly high enough to fly over the fence. There is no end to the fence... it goes and goes and goes... The ceiling or whatever I was in is now electrical wires and I can't get out. Guess what??

I gotta pee a little bit more urgently now. I figure I'll land and go back in and find that toilet again. Once inside I am met by assorted women in various stages of undress... all vying for my attention. I told them I wasn't interested and that I had to pee. They said, "Fine, we have ways of dealing with you." All of a sudden, the naked women were replaced with majorly ugly men, all naked. I started running again. This time faster... a lot faster!

There are stairs and I begin running up but the faster I ran the more I had to pee. This was getting ridiculous. I get to the top of the stairs and now I am outside again. Across the street is a iron fence... behind the fence is the Phillips Funeral Home owned by a longtime, good friend, Bill Phillips, in Philly, and ontop of it there is a sign. "Pee Here Now" it is blinking on and off... on and off... on and off.... My friend comes to the door and asks if I would like a "nice glass of chianti, ice cold." Oh geez. Now I am holding myself. I swear it is leaking out. I can't get through the gate, it's locked.

George Hamilton appears and asks if I am having problems and he can help. I say, "PLEASE... I really have to pee!" He laughs and tells me to go down the street a half block. (I'm not even going to go into the gang of black people, Puerto Ricans, and Hungarians that accosted me on the street). Anyway, I run down the street with this mob after me, and guess what? All of a sudden I am back inside this stupid building. I start down the hallway and come to a restaurant. The man at the front says, "Gotta pee?" and he points down the hall. (I think holding myself while jumping up and down maybe gave me away there). I run down the hall to find that first bathroom I came to and I ran in. Once in there, nothing worked... they didn't even have urinals... no sinks, not one stinking toilet.

Out I go, I think I was hopping now. I go through a door and there is another set of steps. I begin the climb all over again. I get to the top and guess who is there? George, right. He hands me a card and it says, "Congratulations, you have been fooled by ex-wife #1 and ex-wife #2 who have become good friends." I look up and there they are, laughing at me. Now I am really mad, PLUS I now have to pee like a race horse! I'm telling you, the sweat was pouring out of me.

Now I wake up (in real life) and bolt upright in bed! Guess what? Yes, I had to pee!... BIGTIME. I flee to the bathroom and must have gone 2 full minutes... no maybe 5 minutes... anyway I'm talking Niagara Falls here. So there is my dream.

P.S. And to the lovely, gorgeous, hot, sizzling female I was talking with after I logged on, I apologize for being so miserable... now you know why!

And a special P.S. to my psych Dr. at the VA. Go ahead hon, interpret this one! (the last time I wrote about one of my dreams not long ago, and she read it, and then asked if by chance if I brought my suitcase... whatever that meant.) And those 2 guys at her door, holding that grey jacket... how stupid they looked, it was 85 degrees out.

Observations and Questions
George Hamilton, nightmares and pee. Good grief! Have I hit blog-bottom?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this day in 1922, Jack Klugman, Philadelphia PA, actor (Oscar-Odd Couple, Quincy, Goodbye Columbus). And in the death notices today we find in 1076, Willem Bishop of Utrecht (1054-76), murderer of Earl Floris I, dies.
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