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23 July 2006

DEAR FATHER DENNY... "blah, blah, blah"


es my little sinners, you know what time it is, don't you? I know, I know, I said this was going to be a Monday post, but so many sins are rolling in that from time to time I'll have to expand and run a two day event.

And Heaven knows since last week when I gave y'all permission to go out and have fun and load up on your weekend sins, this week should be a doozey.

Now for the new sinners amongst us... the way this works is easy. You go commit sins and then come here and confess them in the privacy of the comment section aka "the confessional." I mean come on folks, if this was any easier, I'D be going out and committing your sins for you! Sigh...

Now we're trying something new here at "The Confessional" Run of the mill, unimportant sins, stand on the left. The really good and hot sins stand on the right. One little note here... the people in the run of the mill sin line... y'all have a long wait since the really hot, lewd and lascivious sins on the right takes precedence. If you are female, you have my permission to jump in ahead of the line.

Now if y'all are ready, then let's get on with that forgiveness... Oh wait, I almost forgot... I have a Sermon for today also. Look at that folks, forgiveness and a sermon... what a bargain huh?

The Sermon

Dear (insert name): I have been doing some research on the internet regarding forgiveness of sins ON the internet. I found that there are places where you can go and for a fee ahem, donation... your sins will be forgiven.

Now sinners, c'mon gather around here.

You know that I have never, ever requested a donation to forgive sins here on the "News", despite the fact that I have the authority to with-hold forgiveness unless a donation is given... I will never do that. I understand you need your money to go out on the weekends in order to afford those nasty sins you are willing to commit and then come and confess.

Ok, hold on a second. Last week you saw a photo of the outside of our new church. Well, Starving Diva from one of our poorer ministries wanted to know if I could show the interior of the church. Well Starving Diva, I hate to show the interior because it slows down the contributions for the outside renovations, just a tad. But anyway, on the left below you can see the outside shot and on the right, our interior shot. A small room off to the side houses the "Not So Normal News" offices and the "My Anything But A Normal Life Conglomerate"... for deduction purposes ya know. Happy now?

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Now, onto the Confessional! Who is First?

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