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31 August 2006

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY


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ou have before you 3 different cases. You will reviews all three cases and report your verdicts/comments in the place provided in the comments section.


Docket #1
Warren Jeffs aka "The Prophet"
Jeffs was apprehended Monday night north of Las Vegas during a routine traffic stop. He had been on the run since he was indicted last summer on statutory rape and conspiracy charges in Arizona. In Utah, he faces two counts of rape as an accomplice for his role in what authorities say was the sexual assault of a teenage girl by an older man Jeffs had forced her to marry. The charges carry sentences of five years to life.

But while we're here, let's look at some of the verses from the Old Testament in the Bible...
In Exodus 21:10, a man can marry an infinite amount of women without any limits to how many he can marry.
In 2 Samuel 5:13; 1 Chronicles 3:1-9, 14:3, King David had six wives and numerous concubines.
In 1 Kings 11:3, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
In 2 Chronicles 11:21, King Solomon's son Rehoboam had 18 wives and 60 concubines.
In Deuteronomy 21:15 "If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons...."

And remember, this is the same Bible you put your hand on and swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God... Now somebodies got to be wrong here.

The thought occurred to me that if this guy was a prophet... shouldn't he have also seen the arrest coming?

Docket #2
"Would you like pants with your coffee?"
Police arrested a motorist accused of twice visiting a coffee stand while naked from the waist down. Garry Scott Harding, 37, of Bend was arraigned Tuesday on public indecency and stalking charges.

A 16-year-old worker at the stand told police that a man without pants or underwear visited the stand twice over the last few weeks and returned Monday fully clothed, according to a report written by Roberto Robles of the Bend Police Department.

She called police during the last visit and officers stopped Harding before he could leave. During an interview with investigators, Harding explained that his ex-wife had once removed his pants before the couple visited a drive-thru window in Montana, according to authorities. Harding apparently said he couldn't stop thinking about the experience and wanted to try it again.

Docket #3
"I'm sorry, my parents locked me in the closet"
A teenager was sentenced to 53 years in prison Tuesday for killing a new schoolmate who showed interest in boys she had dated. Judge James Teros called the killing "a murder over nothing."

Sarah Kolb, 18, had been convicted in February of first-degree murder and concealing a homicide in the death last year of Adrianne Reynolds, 16. Kolb's ex-boyfriend pleaded guilty to the same charges.

Kolb read a statement to the judge after witnesses testified that she was a good friend and student who endured a tough upbringing that included being locked in her room as punishment and being harassed because of her bisexuality.

Kolb said such experiences left her numb, unable to experience emotion. Really? Just wait til "Bob" and "Sammy" get ahold of her in prison... she'll be numb okay.

Observations and Questions
Will the members of the jury state their thoughts on the above cases?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1875 Edgar Rice Burroughs novelist (Tarzan, Mars Saga). And in the death notices we have in 1159 Adrian IV, the only English pope (1154-59), dies.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Brunei: Revelation of the Koran
Lybia, Egypt: Revolution Day (1969)
Malaysia: National Day
Mexico: Presidental Message Day/Opening of Congress
Michigan: Mackinac Bridge Walk Day
Pakistan: Quaid-i-Azam's Death
Puerto Rico: Labor Day (1894)
Syria: United Republic's Unity Day
Tanzania: Heroes' Day

SO.... YOU WANT TO BE ON TELEVISION?


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ell, here's your big chance! That's right as a free service to my readers I am providing you with the info and you provide the action. Below are several TV shows that are searching for people to star on the show. Which one should you pick?


SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT
Do you think you should be one of America's newest multi-millionaires? If you are over 21 and you think America would love to see you win millions of dollars, we are looking for you!

YOU could win potentially one of the biggest prizes in game show history!

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SET FOR LIFE

If you've ever had a dream about quitting your job, paying off your bills, and being SET FOR LIFE, you need to try out for the game show that's making that dream come true!

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We're looking for dynamic, enthusiastic participants who are ready to be SET FOR LIFE!

Please email us at setforlifecasting@lockandkey.tv

DREAM PROJECT

Do you know someone who is looking to fulfill a personal dream, but does not have the financial means to attain it? Do they have a closet, attic or basement full of "hidden treasures", items that they are willing to place for sale on eBay? If so, then Madison Road Entertainment, eBay and the American viewers may literally be able to make these dreams come true.

http://www.nationalfamilysearch.com/

MUSIC PROJECT

Are you America's next singing sensation? If you are 18 years of age or older and think you have what it takes to be one of America's top talents, please apply now! Go to abc.com/site/musiccasting.html for details.

COUPLES SHOW
GET A RELATIONSHIP TUNE-UP! WE ARE SEEKING COUPLES!

Are you getting or sending mixed messages?
Frustrated? In search of the truth?
Has your sex life gone flat?
Is your partner not listening to you?
Do you need help?
You deserve the BEST -- don't settle for LESS!

Let our Relationship Guru give you your own set of tools to move your relationship forward!

If you have been together for a year or more, married, unmarried, living together or not, every relationship needs a tune up. Who knows, this could save you years of therapy!

Please contact Casting at:
310-823-2822 x4262
OR
email abccouples@theconlincompany.com

AMERICAN INVENTOR

Have you ever seen a product in a store and said to yourself: "Why didn't I think of that?" or "That was my idea!" or "My idea is better!" Well, here's your chance to prove it. To submit your contact information as a potential cast member go to: www.americaninventor.tv

EX-WIVES CLUB
Seeking Recently Separated or Divorced Men and Women

Are you having a difficult time coping with your transition? The network that brings you Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Supernanny have developed the next big uplifting and inspirational show that can help!

The Ex-Wives Club will EMPOWER all women and men. Our team of experts will help you surface again and overcome your anxieties and fears. If selected for the show, you will be spoiled, pampered and showered with gifts worth thousands of dollars! Learn how to let go, re-build self esteem, and discover the NEW YOU!

Email justsplit@glassmanmedia.com

Fix My Husband

CASTING IMMEDIATELY! Nominate your husband to be on our new show, Fix My Husband!

Finally… a reality show with a heart, a mission, and a lot of laughs! Fix My Husband is a light-hearted look at common problems that many husbands have, even if they refuse to admit it.

Is your husband a workaholic? Has all the romance in your marriage disappeared? Has your husband become so comfortable in the marriage that he no longer looks like the man you married? If so, we want to meet him!

Fix My Husband is NOW seeking married couples over the age of 21 in which wives send their husbands to us for a friendly kick in the butt! Over the course of just one week, selected husbands will learn priceless pointers that will enhance their marriage, and more importantly, keep their wives happy.

For every couple that participates in Fix My Husband, a custom storybook ending awaits…!

If you live in the New York, New Jersey, or Connecticut area, please call 917-678-9996; for the Greater Minneapolis area, please call 612-339-6141.


Wife Swap
APPLY NOW FOR THE NEXT SEASON!
WE ARE SEARCHING FOR FAMILIES FOR OUR HIT SHOW WIFE SWAP

Wife Swap is the exciting new series that invites you behind the walls of America's homes and lets you experience how families run their lives.

Each episode involves two families and a fun twist: the Moms of each household swap places for ten days!

If you are a family unit (two parents and children) who love an adventure,
Click here for the Wife Swap Application!

Print and fill out the application and send it to:
Wifeswap
PO Box 1879
New York, NY 10116
or
Copy and paste the application into the body of an email and send to:
families@rdfusa.com You can also reach us by phone at 1-800-509-5638. Make sure to include your contact phone numbers!

FIND ME A BOYFRIEND
APPLY NOW FOR IMMEDIATE CONSIDERATION

Are you tired of doing all the legwork? Here's your big chance! We will find you a boyfriend! someone to marry! a one night stand!

If you are between the ages of 21 and 99 you are eligible! Self-sufficient applicants get priority preference. Please contact Denny Shane immediately!

Observations and Questions
Well? Which one will you apply for?
30 August 2006

ANOTHER POOPY FIRST


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here are several things I will never write about on the "News". Poop has always been one of those subjects, especially Hollywood poop. But this story just begs to be written. And I am flushing out the details for you.

Now I know there has got to be at least one, maybe two fans of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes out there reading this article... but are there any Suri fans? If so you are about to be ummmm over-joyed, I think.

The two idiots are famous enough but now their poor little Suri is being drawn into the mess. David Kesting, the director of Capla Kesting Fine Art, located in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district. "A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family." Of course it can! Special Note to my 5 kids I'm sorry guys I never thought of doing this for you.

The shiny sculpture will be at the gallery at least through September (unless people riot beforehand) and will be up for auction on eBay, with proceeds going to the March of Dimes foundation. Limited edition plaster replicas will also be for sale.

Daniel Edwards, who previously brought us Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston, the sculpture of a very pregnant and very nude Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, is the man responsible for this idea, which according to a press release was also inspired by the successful children's book Everybody Poops.

Observations and Questions
Okee dokee... how many can I put you down for? And please indicate ( ) One Turd ( ) Two Turds

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1797 Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley London England, author (Frankenstein). And in the death notes we find in 30 BC, Cleopatra 7th & most famous queen of Egypt, commits suicide... or did she?

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Afghanistan: Children's Day
Gibraltar: Bank Holiday
Turkey: Victory Day (1922)
29 August 2006

THE MARATHON IS COMING


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he following may or may not include gratuitous and/or indigenous nudity. Please remove younger readers and children. Thank You.

In my email yesterday I received my annual invitation for the Houston Marathon. I am there every year. Even though the race is not until about January, I must begin now getting in shape. The upcoming weeks and months will be complete torture, but I will get through it and may even keep a weekly journal outlining my efforts. The strenuous nude exercises, increased walking, dieting, etc. I must be in tip-top shape for the 26 mile event.

You think standing on a corner, cheering on the runners is easy? Hah! My first marathon years ago was disastrous. I stood there cheering for all of 15 minutes and I couldn't take it anymore. However, over the years I have lasted longer. Last year I did my personal best and stood on that corner cheering for at least 1 hour! Plus the weather last year really sucked... the temps had plunged to 80.

By now you're wondering just how the Marathon race got started... well, here is the short story.

In the 5th century B.C., 490 B.C., the Persians invaded Greece, landing at Marathon, a small town about 26 miles from the city of Athens. The Athenian army was seriously outnumbered by the Persian army.

The battle went on for days. But finally the Greeks outlasted the Persians and won. It was up to a soldier named Pheidippides to run back to Athens with the good news. Wow... such an honor! He could do it! The run from Marathon to Athens was just about 26 miles.

Legend has it that Pheidippides delivered the momentous message "Niki!" ("victory"), then promptly collapsed and died on the spot! What an ending!!

Observations and Questions
Have you ever had a marathon 'anything'?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1962 Rebecca De Mornay actress (And God Created Women). And in the death notices in 1533 Atahualpa last Incan King of Peru, murdered by Spanish conquerors.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Czechoslovakia: Slovak National Uprising Day
Afghanistan: Jeshyn-Afghan Day/Independence Day (1920)
26 August 2006

YES, IT'S CONFESSION DAYS AGAIN


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es fellow sinners and sinnerettes, it's that time of the week to get rid of all those nasty little sins that you piled up since last week.!! Also, I know this is a kinda long story, so if you want to just skip ahead to telling me your sins, that's ok.

This story of sin goes way back, WAY back in my life during my Navy days.

My ship, would be departing Little Creek Amphibious Base in Virginia and head towards the Mediterranean Sea. This cruise was going to take 8 months, stopping and visiting places like Italy, France, Spain, Corsica and Sicily and I was so looking forward to it.

Just getting to our first port, Rota, Spain took almost 3 weeks... Three very long weeks aboard an LST, which was flat-bottomed and which made it rock back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... Ugh!

I had a lot of friends aboard the ship but my closest buddy was Rich from Brooklyn. As time would reveal, he was just as goofy and nuts as I was.

Anyway one night, before we left the States, Rich and I decided to each pick out a school in the U.S. and write a letter. We both picked an all girls college... I forget where now. We sent our letters to the student body class president.

We explained that we were two sailors heading to the "Med" and we would like to correspond with any girl that wanted to write to us. We both figured this was a good idea and we could have some fun with it. About a week went by and we finally got 3 letters, from 3 girls from 2 Catholic colleges. They were nice letters but kinda not what we had in mind. We considered the project a flop. Rich and I being the adventurous duo pondered, "How could we have improved this project to make it a success? What did we do wrong? Maybe we needed something on a grander scale?

Little did we know what was in store for us... It hit us like a ton of bricks. We sat down and typed out a letter... made copies and mailed those copies to EVERY all girls college in America! Every single one! I forget now how many, but trust me it was a lot... maybe a couple hundred.

So now we pull out of Little Creek for our Med vacation while defending our country cruise. Three weeks later we finally arrive in Rota, Spain. When you arrive in a port of call they always call for "working parties" to bring aboard the food, ship parts and the mail from home. Over the PA system we heard "Five man working party report to the main deck" No big deal, normal procedure. Everyone was excited! The ship is always excited when the mail arrives. Letters from home, boxes of goodies, lonely heart letters from girlfriend and wives... sometimes letters from both girlfriend and wife. Finally it came "Mail Call" Rich and I were sitting in the office conniving some idea I'm sure when our mail clerk came into the office. He looked at me, then Rich and said, "there's some mail for you guys at the post office... go get it." Rich and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders... Ok, no big deal. We go out and of the 5 big canvass mail bags, the entire ship received 1/2 a bag... the other 4 1/2 bags were for Rich and I. We were dumb-founded. Hundreds and hundreds of letters. There were cookies, candy, underwear...and a few self photos... Everyday in port it was pretty much the same thing... it just kept coming and coming... it never stopped.

The mail wouldn't stop.

I was having nightmares that Freddy Krueger was delivering my mail. We had mail falling out of our lockers, stuffed in laundry bags, bras, panties and letters under our mattresses.. if a space was empty there were piles of mail. We did the only thing that 2 sailors knew what to do and how to handle the situation... we started selling the letters to the guys onboard the ship. We tried dividing the letters into categories: virgins and non-virgins. Those were the days when the non - virgin pile was much bigger. Not a good selling point when trying to sell to sailors. We tried geographical... nope... guys wanted females close to home or base.

Finally it just boiled down to content. One dollar for a normal, boring letter... Two dollars for a letter with a picture and Five dollars for a letter with a REALLY ahem, good picture!

Business was great!

At that time we also had about 150 Marines onboard the ship and word got to them about what was going on and they wanted in. Rich and I started to feel like pimps. Some days we ran 2 for 1 sales.

Throughout this ordeal we did have a goal. We tried to at least read the first paragraph of each letter after which it went into one of the piles or categories. There was a special pile that wasn't for sale. These were letters from extremely perspective "dates" and girls we became quite interested in and possibly even visiting.

At one point we kind of looked at each other and thought "this has got to end" We were too busy unloading and selling letters that we were ignoring our "hot letters" department... the ones we were hiding away for ourselves.

We started to narrow down the special letters. We were going for geography... girls near Little Creek... ever see the maps on TV in detective shows with the circles? laugh. We had circles and X marks the spot deals.

Unbelievably we managed somehow to get the special pile down to one letter and she had a girlfriend also and she started writing as well. In a non-conceited way we thought that these two girls were the lucky winners. Plus both were from New York... very close for travel purposes and Rich's hometown.

The correspondence became mini-olympics as to which side could write the more interesting letters. One time we received a letter from these two written entirely on a roll of toilet paper. We responded with a letter typed on a typewriter using wax paper. Rich and I even taped an entire radio show that we told the girls we had onboard the ship. Of course there was no such radio show.

Rich and I were awesome catches, even if we thought so ourselves. The one thing about this is that we based our interest in these girls strictly on their written words and ingenuity. We never saw pictures of them as they never sent any.

We kept asking but they never sent any pictures. Finally, an envelope arrives and Rich says it feels like photos. He rips open the envelope and goes right for pictures the pictures. I'm looking at his face for reactions, any reaction at all. Nothing... his face was so solemn. He looked at me and said. "we've got a problem... a big ^$*@*&% problem." He handed me the pictures. The first thing I saw was a hand - written note on top of one picture and it said: "we love seafood"

To be brutally honest, to this day I'm not really sure if they were females or 2 guys. Very stocky and a tad muscular, all in the wrong places. We felt dirty... we felt used... violated... We were stunned. I wondered if we had stashed away any other letters somewhere we could fall back on.

Naturally we never wrote back. But these two in N.Y. kept writing. Every time we got another letter from them, Rich would remind me of their pictures. We got tired of getting the letters from them. Rich and I agreed we had to take care of the situation. It was the only honorable thing to do... so we flipped for it. I won the toss and he was elected to write a letter back to them, telling them this was going nowhere.

About a week later Rich told me he took care of it. "Oh?", I said. He said, "yes... I told them you died in a car crash and I was too broken up to continue letter writing." Hey, good one Rich... that must have taken all of 3 seconds to think up... laugh.

Instead of being astonished and horrified at what he had told them I simply said: "Good idea, think they'll buy it?"

Apparently they did... we never heard from them again. I was kinda upset that they didn't even care enough to send sympathy flowers. For about a week or so after that, we were both depressed... all efforts... up in smoke. About this time our ship was pulling into Naples, Italy. We went on liberty and met two Italian girls... REAL girls... but that's another story for another time.

Every time Rich and I talk on the phone now we always go back to that time and start laughing, just like I've been laughing and shaking my head as I've been writing this article. Just too, too funny.

SPECIAL NOTE: If any of my female readers just happened to have been one of the girls writing to us... please remember I died and I am so sorry I never got to read your letters. ;)

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Observations and Questions
Anyway, we're here today so you can unburden YOUR sins and not mine. Let's get to it, shall we?

PHOTO SCAVENGER HUNT SATURDAY


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elcome to todays' Scavenger Hunt and the chosen subject is: BLUE.

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Grab the Scavenger Hunt Code
Join the Hunt. Join the Blogroll


Blue comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes... it also comes in colors and music. Some people even claim it comes in emotions and feelings..

I really thought about this subject and quite frankly thought it would be easy. But as always, the more thought I put into it, the more complex it became. What shade of Blue should I pick for the picture... for some reason slapping a photo up just didn't quite fit my perception. What emotion could I write about that would explain how I felt? That wasn't quite working either.

So here I sit listening to Willie strumming out a song with his guitar singing about Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain. A lot of people don't like Willie Nelson, I do. I put him up there with another favorite of mine, Roy Orbison. Songs that the both of them sing can put you in a Blue Mood almost instantly... but a good Blue mood.

Observations and Questions
Your turn...

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1942 John E Blaha San Antonio, Col USAF/astronaut (STS 29, 33, STS 43). And in the death notices we have in 1986 Ted Knight actor (Mary Tyler Moore Show), dies at 62.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Namibia: Namibia Day
US: Women's Equality Day (1973)/Susan B Anthony Day (1920)
Zanzibar: Sultan's Birthday
25 August 2006

TAKING A STEP BACKWARDS??


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he 13th season of reality TV show Survivor has already sparked controversy by announcing that contestants will be divided into teams based on their race.

The 20 participants will be divided up into four tribes - African-American, Asian-American, Hispanic and white.

Survivor host Jeff Probst defended the decision on US TV's The Early Show saying, "The idea for this actually came from the criticism that Survivor was not ethnically diverse enough. I think it fits in perfectly with what Survivor does, as it is a social experiment and adding another layer to that experiment, which is taking the show to a completely different level."

Well, good for you Jeff, however I'm not sure this is a good idea at this time. There are enough problems in the world without a show pitting one race against another. I looked at the nationalities and I'm upset there isn't an Irish group.

So now we'll be sitting at home and instead of rooting for Team A or Team B, we can sit and cheer for the Asians to beat the Black Americans. Isn't there enough of this in real life?

I haven't watched this show since the first season. Besides it being a piss-poor show to begin with, now at least I have a legitimate reason not to watch it.

P.S. Did you see the surprise in the picture? lol

Observations and Questions
What is your opinion?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1930 Sean Connery actor (James Bond, Man Who Would Be King). And in our death notices in 1822 William Herschel discovered Uranus, dies at 85. (please, no jokes).

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
France: Liberation Day (1944)
Paraguay: Constitution Day (1967)
Uruguay: Independence Day (1825)
24 August 2006

A BRAIN IN SPACE


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as anyone been following this Jon Benet murder case, starring John Mark Karr? When all is said and done, this definitely has to be up for an Academy or Emmy. This so far is the Holy Grail of Juris Prudence. From the DA in Colorado that wants to keep him in jail in California until it builds a case against him to the California authorities than not only want to get rid of him but now say they knew about him in 1991.

My thoughts on the case? I don't think he did it. Absolutely loving the attention, he was infatuated with Jon Benet and this fascination has taken his brain to the dark side.

Everything will hinge on the DNA from the panties. We'll know when those specifics come in today or hopefully tomorrow.

His family has already secured a book deal and movie deals. His family!, not even him. The ex wife is in on the circus by saying he was with her on that Christmas... Boulder prosecutors have not disclosed their evidence against Karr. His family has insisted he was in Georgia at the time of the slaying.

Georgia attorney Gary Harris, who had represented Wexford and Nate Karr in recent days, has said that the family found a photo from Christmas 1996 that indicates Karr was in Atlanta, not Colorado, at the time of Ramsey's death.

Observations and Questions
Seriously, what do you think? Guilty? A Lunatic? Craving attention? Or... is it us and the media creating this story?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1961 Cal Ripken Jr all-star shortstop (Balt Orioles). And in the death notices in 1991 Bernard Castro patented convertible couch, dies at 87.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Liberia: Flag Day (1847)
Sierra Leone: President's Birthday
22 August 2006

GUESS WHERE I AM GOING??


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int: There's a picture somewhere in this article. If you guessed the Electric Chair, you are almost right. I'm not going TO the Electric Chair, I am going to SEE the Electric Chair. Now you're titillated, aren't ya?!!

Yes, titillated and confused I see. Okay, let me explain. As you may or may not know, Texas ranks #1 in all time executions and the county that I live in, Harris County, is the all-time champion for sending more people to "the chair" than any other county in Texas.

Texas justice is swift. Wanna see just how swift? A grand jury convicted Ira Rector in Anderson on July 18, only five days after the crime of murder. The defendant was sentenced to the electric chair in just eight minutes from the time the jury was handed the charge of the court. BIG HINT: If you plan on committing murder, don't do it in Texas.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you "Ol' Sparky", whose residence is at Huntsville State Prison, in Huntsville, Texas. Now Ol' Sparky served the State of Texas well from 1923 until 1977, wherein a total of 361 prisoners were french fried. And as an interesting footnote... it was made by prisoners at the prison!! Now who says inmates can't learn a trade and be useful while in prison?

Anyway, I am heading up to Huntsville very soon... possibly by the time you even read this today I might be heading up Route 45. Now I am hoping I get to pose with the "chair" so I can show you what I would look like if I were a hardened criminal. I can tell you are really getting jealous, huh?

Observations and Questions
Anything you would like me to take a picture of while I am visiting?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1912 Gene Kelly, Pittsburg PA, dancer/actor (An American in Paris, Going My Way). And in the death notices in 1926 Rodolpho Alfonzo Rafaello Pietro Filiberto Guglieimi Di Valentina D'Antonguolla (Rudolph Valentino), silent movie idol, dies in NY at 31.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Romania: Liberation Day (1944-1990)
Swaziland: Umhlanga Day
21 August 2006

I AM WRITING THE BOSS!


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ear God: Hi! This is little Denny Shane, formerly from Philly and now living in Houston... Yes, the same Denny Shane, former altar boy, and that at my first midnight Mass on Christmas Eve got into a laughing fit on the altar with Jerry Flanagan. We laughed so hard tears were running down our faces. But since You know all things, You already know it was not me making those "farting" noises... it was Flanagan. Little did we know that the altar boy nun, Sister Irma Concilli, was sitting right behind us in the first pew. The next day I wished I had joined the Choir instead.

Anywho... I have a question... What exactly do You do the whole day? I know You don't create wars and things because that would be pre-destination and we don't believe in that.

But something is wrong here and I know only You can correct it.

It seems we have a Sunday School teacher named Mary Lambert and she teaches Sunday School at the First Baptist Church in Watertown, New York. Now I know that You and I are both Catholic, well, because the school taught me that it's the only one, true religion... so You must be a Catholic also. The fact that Mary is a Baptist shouldn't have any bearing on this situation. She received a letter the other day from the Pastor of her church, Rev. Timothy LaBouf. The letter says that the church had adopted an interpretation that prohibits women from teaching men... therefore she couldn't teach Sunday School anymore because boys, who grow into men, also attended. She had taught there for 54 years. 54 Years!!!!!

The letter quoted the first epistle to Timothy: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent." "I believe that a woman can perform any job and fulfill any responsibility that she desires to outside of the church", LaBouf wrote Saturday.

Now if You correct this situation, I promise to stop making deals with You about hitting the lottery... which You know darn well I wouldn't keep anyway.

Do You see where I am going with this? I think this little item may have just snuck past You. I don't have a problem if she wants to teach Sunday School at the Baptist Church...

Look, how about we let her teach Sunday School before she converts to our side, becomes a Catholic and wants to be a priest.

Observations and Questions
So people. Any comments?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1934 Norman Schwartzkopf NJ, US General (Liberated Kuwait from Iraq). And in the death notices in 1977 Sebastian Cabot actor (Mr French-Family Affair), dies at 59.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
1911 Mona Lisa stolen from Louvre
1902 Pres Teddy Roosevelt became 1st US chief executive to ride in a car
1989 Nolan Ryan strikes out his 5,000th batter
19 August 2006

TWO DAYS ONLY: 2 FOR 1 DEAL


T

hat's right... today and Monday I'm having a 2 for 1 deal. Two sins for the penance of 1 sin! Now you tell me what other confessional will give you a deal like that!!

Two weeks ago we had a lot of shoving and pushing in the lines. So last week I had to form two lines with the men on the left and the women on the right. That seemed to work so today it's the same setup. I noticed the female line seems much longer. The men came in with the usual, "I lied twice, stole once, blah, blah, blah." But the women... Whew!!! "I had adulterous sex, I fantasized about the butcher" Now THOSE are the sins you need to get off your ummm ample chest so to speak. I took it one step further, I ran out and purchased a new 2006 Confessional. As you see on the right, I am modeling it for you. It also comes with a booth on the left for the men and one on the right for the females. It is also completely air conditioned for your comfort. Also equipped with a state of the art x-ray machine that goes right through clothing... in case there are any... well, you know. Anyway, on to the sins!

Since it seems I have been confessing a sin a week, for some reason I keep going back to my Navy days. I guess I didn't commit any sins after I got out of the Navy? Anyway here we were in Panama, the country not the U.S. city.... beautiful Panama City. The ship had begun a service for the guys by providing a map of the city so we knew where we were at all times. On the map there were always places of interest pointed out for us to sightsee.

When I got my copy of the map I looked it over for the points of interest. There was a huge red circle around one section of the city. Written in the circle were the words: "Red Light District. Very Dangerous. Stay Out" Wow, was I glad they pointed out that section of the city. You can never be too safe ya know.

Anyway, my buddies and I went on Liberty that night, while deciding what to do we pulled out the map to look over the offerings. We noticed that in the red light district the map also had the names of the clubs to avoid. How nice. The cabbie looked at us and asked, "Gentlemen? Where would you like to go?" We all pointed to "La Gloria's!" on the map. He laughed, "ah si!" and off we went. Looking back now, this place was a dump... I mean a DUMP. If I was dying I wouldn't even crawl to it. But back then it looked like a really fancy nightclub. The music was blaring, you had to fan the cigarette smoke away from your face so you could see where you were going. It also had a peculiar smell about it. For being a place that was "off limits" it sure had enough service men. We even bumped into the Executive Officer of our ship and he was the guy that drew up the map!

Anyway, on our 3rd night visiting the establishment, I was sitting at the bar, enjoying my drink... whatever it was. A young girl came up to me and asked if I wanted "a date." Before I could answer my ummmm girlfriend from the two previous nights showed up. She grabbed the new girl by the arm and swung her around, "he is mine!" "I don't see your name on his forehead" the young girl says. With that, my ummm "girlfriend" pulls out a knife. Now she had very little on to begin with and where this knife was hidden... shrug. The younger girl puts up her hands and says, "fine! he's yours!" WOW!! for the first time in my life I had two ladies fighting over me! It had to be my charm and intelligence I think.


Where is the sin you are asking? Oh there aren't any sins here to confess. I just enjoy telling this story over and over. I mean, I felt so loved and wanted.

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Observations and Questions
Anyway, we're here today so you can unburden YOUR sins and not mine. Let's get to it, shall we?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1957 Cindy Nicholas Canada, swimmer, swam English Channel 19 times. And in the death notices we have in 1940 Leon Trotsky icepicked by Frank Jackson.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Hungary: Constitution Day (1949)
Senegal: Independence Day (1960).

PHOTO SCAVENGER HUNT SATURDAY


I

am so sorry. I have absolutely nothing for today. I didn't plan. Plus I woke up 2 minutes ago and I decided I needed a day off. I'll have something for next week I hope! Have a good day.

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P.S. But please feel free to comment all you want. Today is open mic day. And remember, tomorrow and Monday is Confession day! Get your sins ready for forgiveness!
18 August 2006

LET'S NOT START CELEBRATING JUST YET...


R

emember, you're innocent until proven guilty first. As much as we want and hope that John Karr is the killer of JonBenet Ramsey, he is still innocent until proven guilty and so stated by a jury of his peers.

On the surface this guy does seem quite strange. You probably know already that a woman who said she was Karr's ex-wife told KGO-TV in San Francisco that she does not believe her former husband was involved in JonBenet's killing and that she was with him in Alabama at the time of the homicide. Plus there is supposedly another friend who claim he knows Carr was at home.

Patsy and John Ramsey endured years of suspicion and speculation about their culpability in JonBenet's death. In police interrogations, Patsy was asked if she ever considered whether John was involved in his daughter's murder.

"Absolutely not," Patsy Ramsey said. The couple expressed frustration with the authorities and hired their own private investigators. Patsy did not live long enough to see this day as she died a few months ago.

Observations and Questions
What do you think?

Hey! Don't forget that tomorrow is Photo Scavenger Hunt and the subject is "Youth." And then of course on Sunday and Monday it's forgiveness day here on the News. Father Denny will be present and holding court. So get those sins ready!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1952 Patrick Swayze Houston Tx, actor/dancer (Dirty Dancing, Ghost). And in the death notices we find in 1227 Genghis Khan Mongol conqueror, died.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Hawaii: Admission Day (1959)
Michigan: Montrose-Blueberry Festival
17 August 2006

THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH DISCOVERED?


F

or years and years and years, people have been searching for this magical fountain. Now David Copperfield, famous magician, claims he has finally found the fountain.

Copperfield, 49, told Reuters that the magical healing waters of yore are actually located in the Exuma archipelago, a chain of four small islands in the Bahamas that he just so happened to have purchased recently for $65 million.

"I've discovered a true phenomenon," Copperfield told the wire service. "You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again...Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they'll fly away. It's an amazing thing, very, very exciting."

Copperfield recently transformed one of the isles, Musha Cay, into a posh, private retreat that the ultra-rich can enjoy for up to $392,000 a week. Spiking the Mai Tais with a couple drops of the elixir of life could easily add a zero or two to the final bill.

To prove he's not kidding, the TV trickster says he intends to authenticate his finding, hiring biologists and geologists to scientifically evaluate the purported curative pool's effects. In the meantime, he's keeping the waters off limits.

Copperfield's publicist, Stacy Wolfe said the entertainer was currently on the island and unreachable for comment.

The myth of the Fountain of Youth dates backs centuries. Ponce de Leon and his conquistador crew first heard about in from natives encountered in the Caribbean who believed that a spring with rejuvenating properties was located in the Bahamas not far from Copperfield's chain.

The Spaniards set out for the fabled spot and ended up landing in St. Augustine, Florida, in 1513. Today, St. Augustine pays tribute to the legend via the Fountain of Youth National Archaeological Park, which, includes a museum, various artifacts, an Indian village and a spring--not the spring--but one that tourists can drink from in the hopes of turning back the clock on the aging process.

Observations and Questions
Okee dokee... who's gonna be the first to plunk down $392,000 for immortality?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1786 Davy Crockett, US, frontiersman/adventurer/politician. And in the death notices this date in 1979 Vivian Vance actress (Ethel Mertz-I Love Lucy), dies at 72.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Argentina : San Martin Day (1850)
India : Janmashtami
Indonesia-1945, Gabon-1960 : Independence Day
16 August 2006

HAS THE TIME COME TO...


L

egalize the world's oldest profession? I saw on the news last night that they arrested a score of people on the west coast for prostitution and other related crimes. I wondered how much in taxpayer money went for this entire operation. Money that perhaps could have been better spent on cancer research, etc.>

Panama was one country that popped into my mind. Prostitution is legal there and very heavily regulated. The girls MUST have a complete physical every three months and they are issued a card indicating they have been examined and free to work. The results are put in a public record, which this record is freely accessible by the public and the owners of the clubs that ultilize such activities.

It is then the "madams" or whoevers job to check the records of the girls and keep everything on the up and up. I think the penalty for hiring girls without the clean medical record is an automatic shutdown with no recourse and no appealing the close down in court. It is harsh but it works. And the whole operation is taxed as well.

I really think the time has come to legalize it and move on to other crimes.... like murder, rape, etc.

ALSO

Will Madonna be spending 3 years behind bars in a German prison? Her world-wide show is scheduled to play Dusseldorf on Sunday. Prosecutors there said her show is not only immoral but it's against the law.

If Madonna goes through with the Jesus-channeling act and the locals find it insulting, she could face a maximum sentence of three years in prison. Meaning, Madonna's next reinvention could be as an inmate.

The singer's latest grasp at controversy has been a part of her act since the tour kicked off earlier this summer, and takes place during her rendition of the 1986 pop ballad "Live to Tell."

During the song, Madonna is suspended above the stage on a 20-foot mirrored cross, donning a crown of fake thorns, as images of Third World poverty and numbers representing the 12 million children orphaned by AIDS in Africa is displayed on a screen behind her.

Earlier this month, Madonna's performance was denounced by both the Church of England--before the routine even hit her adopted country's shores--as well as Catholic, Muslim and Jewish leaders in Rome who banded together against the singer's "blasphemous" act.

Further inflaming the Roman protests was the fact that Madonna took to the stage just a mile away from the gates of the Vatican.

Observations and Questions
So jury members... what say you?
15 August 2006

CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME?


B

ecause I am having a small problem with it. I could never understand situations such as this one. Unless there is more to the story.

A New York man who tried to break into his former girlfriend's Moorestown residence Saturday night was stabbed by a handyman working on the West Second Street home, police said yesterday.

Karl M. Kocian, 40, of Staten Island, was under police guard in critical condition last night at Cooper University Hospital in Camden. He was charged with burglary, simple assault, harassment and drug offenses.

The handyman, Kenneth Nagrod, 39, of Ocean Township, N.J., was charged with aggravated assault and treated at a Marlton hospital. He was then placed in the Burlington County Jail after failing to post $25,000 bail. Police did not release the homeowner's name or describe the weapon used in the 10:30 p.m. scuffle.


Observations and Questions
What's your opinion? Why was the handyman arrested?

Plus I Need Your Help
"Idol" Producers are going around the country holding auditions for the new upcoming season. I want to be on there! However, I am having a problem. I don't know what my talent is... any suggestions?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1879 Ethel Barrymore Phila, actress (Constant Wife, Corn is Green). And in the death notices this date in 1935 Wiley Post & Will Rogers killed in plane crash in Alaska.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Today is also the Cure of the Water... for anyone that still believes in this... according to older Catholics, if you go into the water today, you will be safe-guarded against illness for the following year.

Chad: Independence Day
Congo: Independence Day
India: Independence Day
Costa Rica: Mother's Day
Grenada: National Day
Liechtenstein: National Day
Corsica: National Day
Laos: Memorial Day
South Korea: Liberation Day
12 August 2006

DENNY DI PADRE PERDONA PIU PEC for non-Italian sinners... FATHER DENNY FORGIVES MORE SINS


A

s I promised the other day I would confess one of my lost and forgotten sins. Actually an excerpt from my new book, "Sins I have Forgotten: The Early Years" available soon at a bookstore near you!

The ship was on a Caribbean cruise and pulled into Charlotte Amaile on the beautiful island of St. Thomas. To the residents of the island it meant simply "home"... to Rich and I it meant, new bars, new people to meet. New people meant "girls". However we soon discovered that they took the name Virgin Islands to heart. This entry doesn't have anything to do with those naughty girls on the island.

Our first night on "liberty" was a great success... well, as far as the drinking part went. We had managed to spread good ol' American charm in every bar we visited. While we were doing our own rendition of the "blind leading the blind" we came across an extremely well lit building. Rich asked if I was getting hungry. Sure why not, this place look clean. We walked in and found ourselves in a small dining area with one table. That fact didn't have any bearing on us at all. So we sat down and waited patiently for our waitress to arrive with the menu. Within seconds she arrived... looked at Rich and I and said, "what the hell are you two doing?" We explained that we were hungry and thought we would pop in for a meal. The waitress: "you think this is a restaurant? It's my house and your sitting in my dining room!" We looked around... pictures on the walls... very nice nic naks... oh crap... we got up, apologized, went outside and nearly peed ourselves laughing so hard. I mean we were falling down laughing so hard. The pride of the US Navy, strikes again! You would think we'd have enough sense to just go back to the ship and turn in for the night. Well... we did, kinda/sorta.

On our way back we found ourselves in front of City Hall and a nice little building in the middle of town it was/is/use to be/whatever.

On the flag poles, 3 of them... there were 3 flags... the US flag, the Virgin Islands flag and the Danish flag. Originally St. Thomas belonged to the Danes. For whatever reason, which escapes me now, the Danish flag looked really cool. It didn't take long for us to realize just how cool this flag would look onboard our ship. I had just enough Cubre Libra drinks in me to begin my ascent up the flag pole while Rich was the lookout. After a few tries, I finally got to the top and unhooked the flag. We were proud of our acquisition! and we went back to the ship and turned in for the night... Next morning I woke up with one HUGE hangover. I also realized my blanket was all bunched up around me. I tried to straighten it out. "What the hell was this?" I thought. It started coming back to me. I had the Danish National flag wrapped around my body... keeping me warm... as if it were freezing in the Carribbean.

Man, am I glad that is out of the way and forgiven. If anyone from Denmark is reading this... please accept my apologies.

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Observations and Questions
Now your turn... you know you have something to confess. Let's get to it shall we? And don't be pushing and shovin' like last week.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1899 Alfred Hitchcock London, director (Psycho, Birds, Rear Window). And in the death notices we find in 1991 Jack Ryan inventor (co-inventor of the Barbie Doll, Hot Wheels), dies at 65.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
1st test glide of the space shuttle: 1977

Yanks score 5 runs in top of 7th. but rain causes game to be halted & thus score goes back to previous inning, Baltimore wins 3-0: 1978

Tunisia: International Women's Day
Italy: Palio Del Golfo (2nd Sunday) - - - - - ( Sunday )
Zambia: Youth Day - - - - - ( Monday )


PHOTO SCAVENGER HUNT SATURDAY


T

oday is Saturday and that means Photo Scavenger Hunt. Today's subject is "Funny".

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I think it's funny because of everything that went wrong with it. Back in the heyday of my political career, I was supposed to greet the President as he stepped off an elevator at a fund-raising party in Philly. He was supposed to come off and turn to his left and shake my hand while pictures were taken.

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As you may have guessed, Reagan came off the elevator and turned right. After a few whispers of "Mr. President, turn the other way", he turned around to greet me.

At the same time this faux paux was being corrected, his Secret Service Detail (black suits weren't mandatory until later) decided to walk right inbetween us and breaking the handshake. The Secret Service guy was heard saying, "Huh? Wha... what I do?"

Now I am pretty sure you may or may not have noticed the woman practically wiping me out of the entire picture. This was Donna, the President's scheduling secretary who seemed to be oblivious to her surroundings.

FREEBIE LAUGHS

As usual, the photos that I present for Scavenger Hunt are slightly off subject. This grouping may quite not fit into all the rules of the "Hunt" but I think they are funny for a lot of reasons, mainly to me. LOL

Okay, and away we goooooooo!

In Picture 1, we see a young Denny Shane, 2 weeks after reporting to Boot Camp in the Great Lakes. I bet you're sorry now that you married your husband, huh? You could have had me!

In Picture 2 we have Denny Shane home on leave or a weekend or something.

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I don't know how Picture 3 got in here, but I took it during a fashion show aboard ship.

And Picture 4 we find Denny Shane posing for a picture for "Navy Stud of the Month." Magazine. I'm sorry but since this is a family blog, kinda/sorta, I couldn't put the centerfold pic of me here.

Well gang, those are my entries for this week. Stay tuned when next week the subject will be "Youth". That should be fun.
11 August 2006

SAD WEEK / HAPPY WEEK


S

ad because the movie premiered that relives the terrible events of September 11th. Happy, because London thwarted a potential catastrophe in the sky.

Personally, I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to go see this movie. Just my humble opinion but I don't think we as a nation need to see it all over again. We lived it. The producers said it was made to be a documentary and a tribute to those that died and to the bravery of the police and firemen that died that day. Bullshit. It was made to make money. If it was a tribute and documentary, then debut it on the History channel or PBS. I think it's way too early to begin putting out movies about this event... too fresh in the public psyche... too much pain, too much suffering... way too early..


And the other event of this past week. Congrats to London for putting a crimp into the plans to crash 11 jetliners over the Atlantic heading to the United States. BUT, I don't think that is the end of it unfortunately... there's always a Plan B with terrorists. Terrorist' stock in trade is... terror.

I wouldn't put it past the terrorists chicken-shit assholes, al-scum buckets, to have made the capture of these guys part of their plan to either divert our attention or to lull us into a false sense of security thinking it was all over.

And last before I get off my soap opera box... the National Park Service has decided, because of the events in London, to keep the crown on the Statue of Liberty permanently closed and off limits to the public.

"For the better part of three years now, they've been dancing around this issue," said Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-NY. "This is the first time they've said they're not moving forward, they're essentially done looking at it." He called the decision "the final victory of the terrorists on Sept. 11."

Observations and Questions
The floor is open to anyone that feels like bitching and moaning.

Coming Attractions!!
On a much lighter note, don't forget that tomorrow is Photo Scavenger Hunt. The subject is "Funny." And then on Sunday and Monday, it's forgiveness day here on the "News" as I assume the role of Father Denny and forgive most of your sins. I MIGHT even have my own sin of deception to confess, just to show you that I'm not perfect either.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1953 Hulk Hogan [Terry Bollea], Ga, WWF heavyweight champion (1984-89). And in the death notices this date in 1988 Jean-Pierre Ponnele opera director (Carmina Burana), dies at 56.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Central African Republic: Independence Day (1960)
Chad: Independence Day
Jordan: Coronation Day/Accession of King Hussein
10 August 2006

HOLD ONTO YOUR BRITCHES FOR THIS ONE...


Y

esterday, a man here in Houston was found guilty of molesting a 7 year old girl. Normally, the sentence for an offense such as this would be 2 to 20 years prison time. The jury's choice was probation, or a prison term. HOWEVER, since this was his first offense, Jose Bernabe Flores, 30, and has never been convicted in the past, he was eligible for probation, which is what a jury gave him.

Okay, now perhaps it's just me. But does anyone else see anything wrong with this sentence? There HAD to be parents on this jury. I wish this guy lived next to one of these jurors. I bet their verdict would have been different.

A judge placed conditions on Flores' four years probation. He cannot be within 1,000 feet of places where children gather, such as schools and parks. Flores lives down the street from a school but it's 1050 feet. Technically, because of that 50 feet, he can live there. He cannot be alone with any child, including his son. Flores must also register as a sex offender, undergo counseling with a sex therapist and submit to random lie detector tests.

Now here's the real kicker... When Flores' defense attorney asked him in court if he would comply with the conditions of his probation, Flores said, "I'll think about it." Yes, you read that correctly. "I'll think about it."

Even at THAT point, if I were the judge, I would have over-turned the sentence and put him in prison for the maximum 20 years.

"I'll think about it" my ass.

Observations and Questions
SO what do YOU "think about it?"

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1928 Eddie Fisher, Phila Pa, singer. Married Liz Taylor and Debbi Reynolds. (Oh My Papa, Lady of Spain). And in the death notices in 1987 Clara "Where's the Beef?" Peller, actress, dies at 86

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Ecuador: Independence Day (1809)
Missouri: Admission Day, 24th State (1821).
09 August 2006

THE EASY WAY OUT


T

oday I had a choice on what to write about. I could write about the soldiers going to court marshall in Iraq for the rape and murder of the poor 14 year old girl...

Or I could do a MEME on "5 Things" Since my blood pressure would hit the roof and I would probably die, I am not writing about the pathetic excuses for soldiers on trial.

Instead I am doing the 5 Items MEME.

5 Items In My Freezer

1 - Pepperoni Pizza

2 - 6 month old frozen French Fries

3 - Manicotti

4 - Box of 1/3 pounder hamburgers

5 - Mystery package... don't ask


5 Items In My Closet

1 - A ceiling fan from my previous house.

2 - At least 2 shirts that are 10 years old and I cannot fit into anymore.

3 - 5 suits... 2 of which I don't even remember buying or even wearing.

4 - An overcoat, never worn, just in case we get a major ice storm here in Texas.

5 - A pair of PJ's from when I was in the hospital 6 years ago. The last time I wore anything to bed.


5 Items In My Car

1 - A jacket I took with me one day last winter in case it got cold.

2 - A year old bottle of Windex.

3 - 2 clean towels and a tube of sunscreen.

4 - 256, give or take a few, pens that probably don't write.

5 - An FOP, Fraternal Order of Police, Gold Plate to get me out of traffic tickets.


5 Items in My Wallet

1 - My Navy dogtags.

2 - My Phila. Traffic Court ID.

3 - 8 credit cards... 2 of which are topped out.

4 - My Shellback Membership card. In case I ever cross the Equator again while driving.

5 - 2 gift certificate cards from Target and Office Depot that I keep forgetting I have when I buy something at those places.

Observations and Questions
Open mic day. Anything on your mind?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1963 Whitney Houston, Great voice, screwed up life. Newark NJ, singer (One Moment in Time). And in our death notices today in 1988 Alan Napier, (Alfred the Butler on Batman), dies at 85.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Japan: Nagasaki Memorial Day (1945)
Libya: Sanusi Army Day
Rhode Island: Victory Day
Singapore: National Day (1965)
08 August 2006

SOMEBODY, PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME


A

s many times as I read and hear stories like this one, I shake my head in disbelief. A motorist drove her car into the front window of a southwest Houston convenience store Sunday.

The driver stepped on the gas pedal after she stopped her car in a parking space in front of the store, officials said. Let's see here... I am pulling into a parking spot in front of a store... I apply the brakes to stop. Shouldn't I then put the car in Park, turn off the ignition and take my keys. Why would I step on the gas pedal?

Another one: Just last week another motorist stepped on the gas instead of the brake and crashed into another store. If the driver stepped on the gas instead of the brake... where was her foot in the first place? Shouldn't it already have been on one of the petals to begin with? If your foot is on the gas, shouldn't you know the other petal must be the brake? Plus your foot should be on one of those petals at all times.

Observations and Questions
Duh?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1930 Andy Warhol artist/movie producer (Frankenstein, Bad). And in our death notices for today in 1961 Charlie Gemora actor who portrayed King Kong, dies at 58.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Afghanistan: Independence Day (1919)
Ivory Coast: Independence Day (1960)
Nepal: Tij Day - Woman's holiday. Happy Tij day to all of my female blogger buddies!
06 August 2006

YES, I SIN ALSO...SOMETIMES


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kay sinners, both professional and wannabe's, gather around. You know what day it is... the day where you step into the confessional and unburden yourself with all of the sins you committed last week.

And guess what? Y'all are in for a real treat today, because I am going to confess a sin that has been tucked away in my deepest level for a long, long time. It has bothered me 'lo all these years. And since I am giving you an example I hope I am also giving you the courage to step into the confessional and let 'er rip.

Mr. Peabody and his pet friend Sherman were on vacation this week and they allowed me to use the famous "Way Back" machine. Let's all hop in, shall we?

1960, maybe 61, could be 62... who knows. I was a young, impressionable lad just entering those years when male hormones are racing all over the place.... and it was a Friday night! You remember Friday nights? It was movie night! At least in my neighborhood of Kensington in Philly. As it turns out there just happened to be the Cameo Movies right down the street from where I lived.

So there we are... two of my friends and myself... probably the three coolest, uncool kids in the movies. But we were on the cusp of being teenagers and we were cool now. Two pounds of some kinda gel on our hair... that kept it in place in case we walked into a wind storm. Only us cool guys and people that make out ever went into the unknown abyss that was the Balcony! Lo and behold, a few rows in front of us were 4 girls... so naturally we struck up conversations with these hot beauties by throwing popcorn into their hair. To make a long story short, we moved our seats up to where these luscious virgins were awaiting us. I chose the girl on the end... gorgeous brown hair. I sat on her right.

After awkward pleasantries: "hi, how old?, what school?", blah, blah, blah, we got down to business. I went in for that magical movie kiss. MmMmMmm excellent! One thing led to another and I put my arm around her. Kiss by kiss, my hand kinda kept moving lower and lower. BINGO! It was a bit harder than I thought a breast should be, but what the heck, who cares. Time flew by and before I knew it, the first movie ended and it was intermission time.

The lights went on and we stood up. I said I was going to the men's room. Then it happened! I saw it! The object of all of my attention all during the kissing was right there staring me in my face. All night I had been massaging her... her... stump! She was an amputee! Yes, I was getting turned on by her arm thing.

In the men's room I paced back and forth trying to figure out what I was going to do while my friends were rolling around the floor laughing. Well, we came to a decision, we all agreed it was the right thing to do. So we beat feet for the exits!

So fellow sinners, there you have it. My sin of long ago... finally off my chest... unfortunately it is ingrained on my brain.

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Observations and Questions
Now your turn... you know you have something to confess. Let's get to it shall we?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1976 Soleil Moon Frye actress (Punky Brewster). And in the death notices we find in 1978 Pope Paul VI dies of heart attack at summer residence at 80.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Australia: Bank Holiday
Bolivia: Independence Day (1825)
Hiroshima, Japan: Peace Festival at Peace Memorial Park (1945)
Iceland: Bank Holiday
Jamaica: Independence Day (1962)
Malawi, Ireland: August Holiday
UAE: Accession of H.H. Sheik Zayed Ben Sultan Al-Nahayan
Arizona, Michigan: American Family Day
Italy: Joust of the Quintana (1st Sunday)
05 August 2006

PHOTO SCAVENGER HUNT SATURDAY


T

oday is Saturday and that means Photo Scavenger Hunt. Today's subject is Money! I'm talking lire, pesos, pesada, duetchmark. However, now that Europe has gone to the Euro... come on, how boring. I loved the old coins.

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Below are just a few of my more interesting coins from the Roman Empire. And if you read my answer to Dark Angel's question the other day, you'll know why Roman coins are my favorite filthy lucre!

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My 2nd all time favorite coin is right above. It's Alexander the Great. And of course my all time favorite coin... that of my Great Uncle Julius, the one and only Caesar of Rome seen below!!

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These are only a few of many Denari. I obtained them while in Rome, years ago. As you can imagine they are kept under strict security. For the first time ever I am showing an actual photograph of my impenetrable coin vault.

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This vault is so secure in my home that it took me three days to actually find it to photograph.
04 August 2006

HEY! IT'S LITTLE NICOLAS JACQUE CONTE'S BIRTHDAY!


A

nd just who the hell is Nicolas Jacque Conte you ask? Well, he invented something every school kid uses and you probably used a few times this week yourself.


Conte invented the modern pencil!

The French Republic was at that time under economic blockade and unable to obtain graphite imports from Great Britain the main source of the material. He was asked to create a pencil that did not require foreign imports. After several days of research, Conte had the idea of mixing powdered graphite with clay and pressing the material between two half-cylinders of wood. Thus was formed the modern pencil.

Conte received a patent for the invention in 1795, and formed la societe Conte to make crayons. Now today when you go to work and you see someone using a pencil you can tell them today is the birthday of the inventor of that pencil.

Also:

The Month of July was named after Julius Caesar, the greatest military genius and most accomplished man of all time. However, Octavian (Augustus) did want to be out done by his famous uncle, but even though he was not nearly a great a man as Julius, he still took a full 31 days for the month named after him, August, making it one of the longest months of the year.

And Finally today
Another answer to a question that was asked last week. Patti-Cake asks: "Hmmm how about writing about someone you have a crush on .... Well Patti, I've never been good at this kind of thing, but here goes, just because you asked:

Dearest (Insert Name):
It is very important for me to express to you how much you really mean to me. I wish I could do this in person while holding you in my arms and gazing into your eyes. But since we are physically separated by miles of emptiness, this expression must come in the form of letters such as this.

(Insert Name), I know it is difficult for you, as it is for me, to be separated for so long. Life seems to be full of trials of this type which test our inner strength, and more importantly, our devotion and love for one another. After all, it is said that "True Love" is boundless and immeasurable and overcomes all forms of adversity. In truth, if it is genuine, it will grow stronger with each assault upon its existence.

(Insert Name), our love has been assaulted many times, and I am convinced that it is true because the longer I am away from you, the greater is my yearning to be with you again. You are my enchanted Princess, and I am your devoted Prince. I cherish any thought of you, prize any memory of you that rises from the depths of my mind, and live for the day when our physical separation will no longer be.

Until that moment arrives, I send to you across the miles, my tender love, my warm embrace, and my most passionate kiss.
Love always,

Me!

How was that Patti? Geez wait! I just re-read Patti's request and it says write ABOUT someone I have a crush on. I thought it said write TO someone. LOL... oh well, hope my letter suffices.

Observations and Questions
Soooooooo my dear friends... what's on your mind today?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1755 Nicolas-Jacque Conte inventor (modern pencil). And in the death notices today we find in 1981 Melvyn Douglas actor, dies at 80.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Norway: Peer Gynt Festival Days
Trinidad & Tobago: Discovery Day (1498)
US: Coast Guard Day (1790)
Virgin Islands: Nicole Robin Day
03 August 2006

KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS KIDS?


I

t's "Lazy Day" today on the Not So Normal News! That's right friends and I bet you didn't even know it. I decided while talking a shower this morning that once a year I should have "Lazy Day". And are you lucky... I have decided that TODAY will be that day!! If you're already in work, I'm sorry. "Lazy Day" should not be confused with Do Nothing Day" that we just celebrated not too long ago.

What exactly is Lazy Day you ask? Well, according to Wikepedia: Lazy Day which had it's origins in the shower of Denny Shane in 2006 is a universal celebration of Laziness. Lazy Day" should not be confused with "Go Slower Day" or "Do Nothing Day", which are other holidays declared by the 43rd great grandson of Charlemagne!

I am so into this new holiday that I am not even going to answer any of your questions from last week. I barely un-lazied myself to even write this blog entry informing y'all about "Lazy Day". And what's really cool is that only people reading the "News" today will know about it! Who says reading the "News" isn't informative!

Observations and Questions
Well gang, I'm off to celebrate Lazy Day". How will you be celebrating?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1926 Tony Bennett, Queens NY, singer (Left a body part in SF). And in the death notices today we have in 1983 Carolyn Jones, actress (Morticia-Addams Family), dies at 54 of cancer.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
New Zealand: Arbor Day (1872)
Niger: Independence Day (1960)
Tunisia: Bourguiba's Birthday (1902)
Blogland: Lazy Day (2006)
02 August 2006

THE ENDING OF A REALLY NICE VACATION


S

unshine, relaxation, gorgeous females, tempting foods. What could you ask for while on vacation? Absolutely stunning scenery... and very old volcano, Mount Vesuvio in the near distance.

YOUR QUESTIONS

Dark Angel quizically asks: "past lives, what EXACTLY or who EXACTLY do you think you were without everyone thinking you're insane and what details (particular interests, dreams, deja vu, etc.) led to you be convinced of who and where you were last time?"

The question Dark Angel presents brings back many memories of happier times. And these memories are the only subject of today's blog.

I always enjoy talking about my days back then, up to a certain point that is... It was a gorgeous day in August, 79 A.D. and I was winding down a short vacation in my favorite spot of the Empire, Pompeii!A citizen of Rome, and I think I was an important citizen of the world's greatest power. I can't quite figure that part out yet. Anyway... I was winding down my vacation to the city and I hated to leave but I was needed back in Rome, for what I don't know yet.

Over on the right you can see a picture of my house, actually the house belonged to my cousin who I was staying with while in Pompeii.

Geez, the kids were always running around... non-stop...

Anyway, the time had come for me to leave my little vacation heaven. I boarded a ship back to Rome in a little port city called Hurculeum, not far from Pompeii. A leisurely cruise of 4 days would completely and totally relax me. I settled in and the ship embarked and headed for Rome.

After two days we pulled into port for a few supplies. The news of the destruction of Pompeii spread fast from the people on the loading docks. I was forever stunned.

Observations and Questions
I keep saying it and one of these days I am going to find someone I trust that does these past life regressions. I swear when I went to Pompeii as a tourist, I practically knew where everything was located... even my house! It comes in bits and pieces. Hey! Was anyone else in Pompeii around 15 August 79? Maybe we knew each other!

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1922 Carroll O'Connor NYC, actor (All in the Family, Heat of the Night). And in the death notices on this date in 1876 Wild Bill Hickok shot dead (from behind) by Jack McCall while playing poker. He held a pair of Aces & a pair of 8's, now known as the Dead Man's Hand.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Costa Rica : Virgin of Angels feast
Grenada : Emancipation Day
Lesotho : National Tree Planting Day
Malawi : Bank Holiday