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06 August 2006

YES, I SIN ALSO...SOMETIMES


O

kay sinners, both professional and wannabe's, gather around. You know what day it is... the day where you step into the confessional and unburden yourself with all of the sins you committed last week.

And guess what? Y'all are in for a real treat today, because I am going to confess a sin that has been tucked away in my deepest level for a long, long time. It has bothered me 'lo all these years. And since I am giving you an example I hope I am also giving you the courage to step into the confessional and let 'er rip.

Mr. Peabody and his pet friend Sherman were on vacation this week and they allowed me to use the famous "Way Back" machine. Let's all hop in, shall we?

1960, maybe 61, could be 62... who knows. I was a young, impressionable lad just entering those years when male hormones are racing all over the place.... and it was a Friday night! You remember Friday nights? It was movie night! At least in my neighborhood of Kensington in Philly. As it turns out there just happened to be the Cameo Movies right down the street from where I lived.

So there we are... two of my friends and myself... probably the three coolest, uncool kids in the movies. But we were on the cusp of being teenagers and we were cool now. Two pounds of some kinda gel on our hair... that kept it in place in case we walked into a wind storm. Only us cool guys and people that make out ever went into the unknown abyss that was the Balcony! Lo and behold, a few rows in front of us were 4 girls... so naturally we struck up conversations with these hot beauties by throwing popcorn into their hair. To make a long story short, we moved our seats up to where these luscious virgins were awaiting us. I chose the girl on the end... gorgeous brown hair. I sat on her right.

After awkward pleasantries: "hi, how old?, what school?", blah, blah, blah, we got down to business. I went in for that magical movie kiss. MmMmMmm excellent! One thing led to another and I put my arm around her. Kiss by kiss, my hand kinda kept moving lower and lower. BINGO! It was a bit harder than I thought a breast should be, but what the heck, who cares. Time flew by and before I knew it, the first movie ended and it was intermission time.

The lights went on and we stood up. I said I was going to the men's room. Then it happened! I saw it! The object of all of my attention all during the kissing was right there staring me in my face. All night I had been massaging her... her... stump! She was an amputee! Yes, I was getting turned on by her arm thing.

In the men's room I paced back and forth trying to figure out what I was going to do while my friends were rolling around the floor laughing. Well, we came to a decision, we all agreed it was the right thing to do. So we beat feet for the exits!

So fellow sinners, there you have it. My sin of long ago... finally off my chest... unfortunately it is ingrained on my brain.

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Observations and Questions
Now your turn... you know you have something to confess. Let's get to it shall we?

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices
Born this date in 1976 Soleil Moon Frye actress (Punky Brewster). And in the death notices we find in 1978 Pope Paul VI dies of heart attack at summer residence at 80.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World
Australia: Bank Holiday
Bolivia: Independence Day (1825)
Hiroshima, Japan: Peace Festival at Peace Memorial Park (1945)
Iceland: Bank Holiday
Jamaica: Independence Day (1962)
Malawi, Ireland: August Holiday
UAE: Accession of H.H. Sheik Zayed Ben Sultan Al-Nahayan
Arizona, Michigan: American Family Day
Italy: Joust of the Quintana (1st Sunday)
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